=.="

It's been a while since I wrote a post I know. I'm running out of ideas of what to say. Actually I have lots of things in mind these past few days ranging from where would I be after graduation to some shit that has happened in the past.

Going to the minisales school kinda haunts me. To me that time was the start of the downfall of my relationship. Somehow rather, although I'm sure I won't be going for the summer internship, there's this little thing inside telling me to go for it. Show everyone who the fuck you really are and rise up to the occasion. Looking back I wasn't mentally ready for it and maybe the second time around it wouldn't be so bad. Anywayz, I guess this is something which I would have to put at the back of my mind and it's nice seeing everyone again plus some new faces. Unlike the Malaysians in WMU, we all are very open and friendly towards each other. Maybe it's because we don't live in the same place, but I can feel the tension between WMU-ans when we hang around. Or maybe it's just my sensitivity.

There are things in life where although logically it is a stupid thing to do, emotionally is the very right thing to do. I sometimes feel life in general is very paradoxical. You know how we always say don't get too emotional, yet lacking emotional intelligence would become a serious disadvantage for an individual. I guess it's like the ying-yang thingy, where they say the opposites are interdependant and that it needs each other to survive. Maybe this explains couples usually have total opposite characters.

In life we'll have to learn how to practice moderation. It's no point being too emotional or too rational about it. This is one of the weaknesses that I seem to have; being too extreme and unable to go through the moderate path. I've noticed myself becoming too emotional over my last relationship to being too rational/blah about life. To me, my life now is one big emotionless vaccumm, which makes me as though i'm some heartless bastard without having any consideration of other people.

Well, this is one of many other things in my mind that I care to articulate now. Somehow, there is this feeling inside me that I've been keeping ever since coming back from Chicago. I'll see how much I can deny it before having to deal with it.