As of Monday March 24th, 2008 I made up my mind to go work out everyday. My aim was to lose 60 pounds in 30 days, in which I realize I find it really impossible. Weghing myself everyday wasn't working either and I find out that I'm actually putting on weight rather than losing weight. Hmm maybe the first few days I'm gaining muscle mass before losing weight.
Sigh, I'm so freaking out now. The reason why I'm doing this is because I want to be able to fit in my freaking suit. Right now I'm barely fitting into it and if my suit can talk he would be screaming for air and shouting out "stop wearing me you're ripping me apart". But whatever-la, I'll stop looking at my weight for now and just freaking run and pump like a mad dog.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
=.="
It's been a while since I wrote a post I know. I'm running out of ideas of what to say. Actually I have lots of things in mind these past few days ranging from where would I be after graduation to some shit that has happened in the past.
Going to the minisales school kinda haunts me. To me that time was the start of the downfall of my relationship. Somehow rather, although I'm sure I won't be going for the summer internship, there's this little thing inside telling me to go for it. Show everyone who the fuck you really are and rise up to the occasion. Looking back I wasn't mentally ready for it and maybe the second time around it wouldn't be so bad. Anywayz, I guess this is something which I would have to put at the back of my mind and it's nice seeing everyone again plus some new faces. Unlike the Malaysians in WMU, we all are very open and friendly towards each other. Maybe it's because we don't live in the same place, but I can feel the tension between WMU-ans when we hang around. Or maybe it's just my sensitivity.
There are things in life where although logically it is a stupid thing to do, emotionally is the very right thing to do. I sometimes feel life in general is very paradoxical. You know how we always say don't get too emotional, yet lacking emotional intelligence would become a serious disadvantage for an individual. I guess it's like the ying-yang thingy, where they say the opposites are interdependant and that it needs each other to survive. Maybe this explains couples usually have total opposite characters.
In life we'll have to learn how to practice moderation. It's no point being too emotional or too rational about it. This is one of the weaknesses that I seem to have; being too extreme and unable to go through the moderate path. I've noticed myself becoming too emotional over my last relationship to being too rational/blah about life. To me, my life now is one big emotionless vaccumm, which makes me as though i'm some heartless bastard without having any consideration of other people.
Well, this is one of many other things in my mind that I care to articulate now. Somehow, there is this feeling inside me that I've been keeping ever since coming back from Chicago. I'll see how much I can deny it before having to deal with it.
Going to the minisales school kinda haunts me. To me that time was the start of the downfall of my relationship. Somehow rather, although I'm sure I won't be going for the summer internship, there's this little thing inside telling me to go for it. Show everyone who the fuck you really are and rise up to the occasion. Looking back I wasn't mentally ready for it and maybe the second time around it wouldn't be so bad. Anywayz, I guess this is something which I would have to put at the back of my mind and it's nice seeing everyone again plus some new faces. Unlike the Malaysians in WMU, we all are very open and friendly towards each other. Maybe it's because we don't live in the same place, but I can feel the tension between WMU-ans when we hang around. Or maybe it's just my sensitivity.
There are things in life where although logically it is a stupid thing to do, emotionally is the very right thing to do. I sometimes feel life in general is very paradoxical. You know how we always say don't get too emotional, yet lacking emotional intelligence would become a serious disadvantage for an individual. I guess it's like the ying-yang thingy, where they say the opposites are interdependant and that it needs each other to survive. Maybe this explains couples usually have total opposite characters.
In life we'll have to learn how to practice moderation. It's no point being too emotional or too rational about it. This is one of the weaknesses that I seem to have; being too extreme and unable to go through the moderate path. I've noticed myself becoming too emotional over my last relationship to being too rational/blah about life. To me, my life now is one big emotionless vaccumm, which makes me as though i'm some heartless bastard without having any consideration of other people.
Well, this is one of many other things in my mind that I care to articulate now. Somehow, there is this feeling inside me that I've been keeping ever since coming back from Chicago. I'll see how much I can deny it before having to deal with it.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Boringness
Since coming back to NYC, I felt my life is very stagnant. Everynight I would sleep at around 4 or 5 something in the morning, drive myself to classes and back cook dinner and then hang around. In an attempt entertain myself, I download movies to watch (and in case you're wondering, it is movies that you watch in the cinema =.=). It's not that there's nothing to do. I mean like today there was an International Food Festival. However, I can so imagine gold digger being there with 400 hp (go figure out what I'm trying to say). Lately also, I've been disliking certain group of Asians. Again, I shall just tell myself that they have been brought up this way and I'm wierd and different.
Anywayz, I was watching The Mist. This show talks about a mysterious mist that swept this little town and were trapped in this convenience store. To put things short, the mist I presume create mutations to the animals that breathe in the mist but is immune to humans. The result of the mutations are crazy screwed up animals flying around eating people up and stuff like that. While all this is happening, this crazy staunch Christian begins to brainwash the people in the convenience store, and the rational and sane people were chased out. However, this is not before one of them shot the Christian fanatic, in which I yell out " Yea you .............., you deserve is you son of a ............"
Cursing aside, this show brought myself to think of how can people change under extreme conditions. Before the mist, she was that crazy person who preaches to anyone that bothers to talk to her. Come to this situation, suddenly everyone become entranced in her preachings. I wonder what is the reason for this to happen? Well, as they were in a state of confusion with all the mists and all, they want to know what happened? Then along came this women who says judgement day has come bla bla bla and then she cite specific occurances and say that it is described in the bible. In normal conditions, it would be absurb to believe in what she's saying but in times of desperation, when all things doesn't make sense, hearing something less nonsensical suddenly seems very logical.
While we are always taught to be curious and know the 'why', curiosity kills the cat too. We are always asking why this happened and become so frustrated that we become emotional over it. Seriously, I should do some experiment and make myself a cult. The easiest way would be to confuse the person to the max and then somehow offer them a perfect solution by joining the cult. Somehow, with all these advances in technology and civilization, we are just animals after all and survival instinct would bring out the animal in all of us.
Another lesson learnt here, if a similiar situation like in The Mist happens, I would be sure to shoot the preacher first. Till then, sayonara.
Anywayz, I was watching The Mist. This show talks about a mysterious mist that swept this little town and were trapped in this convenience store. To put things short, the mist I presume create mutations to the animals that breathe in the mist but is immune to humans. The result of the mutations are crazy screwed up animals flying around eating people up and stuff like that. While all this is happening, this crazy staunch Christian begins to brainwash the people in the convenience store, and the rational and sane people were chased out. However, this is not before one of them shot the Christian fanatic, in which I yell out " Yea you .............., you deserve is you son of a ............"
Cursing aside, this show brought myself to think of how can people change under extreme conditions. Before the mist, she was that crazy person who preaches to anyone that bothers to talk to her. Come to this situation, suddenly everyone become entranced in her preachings. I wonder what is the reason for this to happen? Well, as they were in a state of confusion with all the mists and all, they want to know what happened? Then along came this women who says judgement day has come bla bla bla and then she cite specific occurances and say that it is described in the bible. In normal conditions, it would be absurb to believe in what she's saying but in times of desperation, when all things doesn't make sense, hearing something less nonsensical suddenly seems very logical.
While we are always taught to be curious and know the 'why', curiosity kills the cat too. We are always asking why this happened and become so frustrated that we become emotional over it. Seriously, I should do some experiment and make myself a cult. The easiest way would be to confuse the person to the max and then somehow offer them a perfect solution by joining the cult. Somehow, with all these advances in technology and civilization, we are just animals after all and survival instinct would bring out the animal in all of us.
Another lesson learnt here, if a similiar situation like in The Mist happens, I would be sure to shoot the preacher first. Till then, sayonara.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Becareful of What You Wish For
Before I delve further about what I am about to say, I failed to mention in my previous post that I'm thankful to my dearie Elaine for letting me stay at her apartment for 10 days. I greatly appreciate everything she has done for me while I was in NYC
Ok, this topic has to do about NYC as well. Actually it's more like my friends coming back from NYC. The thing was that while I was in NYC I had four other friends as well, including my housemate. For some reason, he started ignoring me and it has become so apparent that I'm greatly frustrated at my futile attempts to even try to talk to him. I don't know if I'm too sensitive but I feel that his dislike and ignorance towards me is greatly felt, and recently with his new arrival of his BMW, he got even more big-headed.
In a great anger plus a tinge of jealousy, I suddenly had this thought and actually mentioned to Elaine, "That fucker right, he think so big and stuff drive BMW want to show off. Furthermore now winter wanna buy sports car sure crash-wan."
Oh well, it did happen. It seems that the whole driver side of the car was wrecked and had it been reported to the insurance company it would be considered an insurance write off. In the end he decided to fix the car himself so that the car would still be considered a clean title instead of a salvage title.
Anywayz, I'm so shocked to hear that and at the same time I felt bad that I even thought of the idea of the accident, although I must say that it is such a waste of a good BMW. I told Elaine and she was like "omg, I shall not piss you off anymore. If not you would curse that I would fall down the stairs or something =.=" Anywayz, I didn't know I had such powerful influence on certain events. I wish though I would actually win the lottery and don't have to work ever again. And I've been thinking of it ever since I know what a lottery is.
But you see I never bought a lottery ticket even once since coming to US. This reminds me of my sister telling me a joke; One day, there was this beggar who prays everyday to god and ask that he would strike the lottery. With great persistence he prayed and finally god emerged from the clouds and then saide "My son, please go buy a lottery ticket for heaven's sakes!"
Ok, this topic has to do about NYC as well. Actually it's more like my friends coming back from NYC. The thing was that while I was in NYC I had four other friends as well, including my housemate. For some reason, he started ignoring me and it has become so apparent that I'm greatly frustrated at my futile attempts to even try to talk to him. I don't know if I'm too sensitive but I feel that his dislike and ignorance towards me is greatly felt, and recently with his new arrival of his BMW, he got even more big-headed.
In a great anger plus a tinge of jealousy, I suddenly had this thought and actually mentioned to Elaine, "That fucker right, he think so big and stuff drive BMW want to show off. Furthermore now winter wanna buy sports car sure crash-wan."
Oh well, it did happen. It seems that the whole driver side of the car was wrecked and had it been reported to the insurance company it would be considered an insurance write off. In the end he decided to fix the car himself so that the car would still be considered a clean title instead of a salvage title.
Anywayz, I'm so shocked to hear that and at the same time I felt bad that I even thought of the idea of the accident, although I must say that it is such a waste of a good BMW. I told Elaine and she was like "omg, I shall not piss you off anymore. If not you would curse that I would fall down the stairs or something =.=" Anywayz, I didn't know I had such powerful influence on certain events. I wish though I would actually win the lottery and don't have to work ever again. And I've been thinking of it ever since I know what a lottery is.
But you see I never bought a lottery ticket even once since coming to US. This reminds me of my sister telling me a joke; One day, there was this beggar who prays everyday to god and ask that he would strike the lottery. With great persistence he prayed and finally god emerged from the clouds and then saide "My son, please go buy a lottery ticket for heaven's sakes!"
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Back and Broke to the Max
Finally I'm back from New York. In the process, I'm thoroughly broke and will have to be ultra thrifty if I were to meet my monthly allocated expenses. To sum things, New York City is really great. Yes I didn't visit the two supposedly most must places to visit and that is the Statue of Liberty and the Empire State Building. I wanted to visit those places but when I reached the South Ferry to hop on the ferry to get onto the Liberty and Ellis Island, I was shocked to see the miles long queue to get into the ferry. So I said screw it and then proceeded to get to Empire State building. I was about to get in when on the last minute I decided not to go in. I was already at the front counter but decided not to. One thing was that it costs 19 dollars to get to the 86th floor observatory and another 16 dollars to get on the 101th floor top deck observatory. Furthermore, I feel that it is the second best observatory as the WTC towers were taller and Sears tower in Chicago which is taller than both of the towers costs only 12 dollars to get in. Ultimately, I feel it's a rip off and after going up the Sears Tower, buildings are just building and when you're up there, the scenery are just the same.
People in NYC are surprisingly alright for me. Maybe this is because I grew up in KL, which I think Malaysians are more hostile than the New Yorkans. I didn't get mugged or shot but at the same time I didn't meet any New York elites that I can gold dig. When I was travelling to the airport flying back to Chicago, a lady came asked me how to get to the airport as this was her first time getting there. In the end, she offered to pay the shuttle bus fare from the train station to the airport which I feel was very nice of her. Come to think of it now, she jokingly said I could buy her coffee and maybe I should had and then exchange numbers so that in the future maybe I could find her in NY. Aigh....
Would I like to stay in NYC? Well, I stayed with my friend and she love NYC so much that she's trying very hard to stay here as long as she can. I on the other hand might prefer Chicago as it still has it's own unique characteristics and affordable at the same time. San Diego I imagine would be nice if I earn at least an annual six-figure income to be able to enjoy the place to the fullest. The greatest thing I can imagine off-hand would be to cruise on a convertible Lamborghini with my Tag Heuer sunglasses and driving down highway 101.
Anywayz, while I was busy soaking the NYC atmosphere, the Malaysian general election concluded to many's surprise. I am surprised that many people are surprised of the results, so much so that even the opposition were dumbfounded. To me I guess it was very much expected. As an internet savvy person, the amount of disgust and hatred expressed to the government is shocking that I here in the US am worried of getting back to Malaysia. I think this is the turning point of Malaysian politics. A certain party can be in power only for so long. From now on if the opposition does and excellent job in handling their territories while the BN continues waving their kerises in thin air very soon the next election the majority would be dominated by the oppositions. By the way, I'm still very skeptical about PAS. I can't imagine myself coming back to Malaysia after so long being overseas only to be kidnapped and forced to perform a circumcision upon me.
I'm sorry that I don't have much pictures to post here. I didn't take much pictures and those that I took are crappy ones. Oh well, till then good night everyone.
People in NYC are surprisingly alright for me. Maybe this is because I grew up in KL, which I think Malaysians are more hostile than the New Yorkans. I didn't get mugged or shot but at the same time I didn't meet any New York elites that I can gold dig. When I was travelling to the airport flying back to Chicago, a lady came asked me how to get to the airport as this was her first time getting there. In the end, she offered to pay the shuttle bus fare from the train station to the airport which I feel was very nice of her. Come to think of it now, she jokingly said I could buy her coffee and maybe I should had and then exchange numbers so that in the future maybe I could find her in NY. Aigh....
Would I like to stay in NYC? Well, I stayed with my friend and she love NYC so much that she's trying very hard to stay here as long as she can. I on the other hand might prefer Chicago as it still has it's own unique characteristics and affordable at the same time. San Diego I imagine would be nice if I earn at least an annual six-figure income to be able to enjoy the place to the fullest. The greatest thing I can imagine off-hand would be to cruise on a convertible Lamborghini with my Tag Heuer sunglasses and driving down highway 101.
Anywayz, while I was busy soaking the NYC atmosphere, the Malaysian general election concluded to many's surprise. I am surprised that many people are surprised of the results, so much so that even the opposition were dumbfounded. To me I guess it was very much expected. As an internet savvy person, the amount of disgust and hatred expressed to the government is shocking that I here in the US am worried of getting back to Malaysia. I think this is the turning point of Malaysian politics. A certain party can be in power only for so long. From now on if the opposition does and excellent job in handling their territories while the BN continues waving their kerises in thin air very soon the next election the majority would be dominated by the oppositions. By the way, I'm still very skeptical about PAS. I can't imagine myself coming back to Malaysia after so long being overseas only to be kidnapped and forced to perform a circumcision upon me.
I'm sorry that I don't have much pictures to post here. I didn't take much pictures and those that I took are crappy ones. Oh well, till then good night everyone.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
New York so far
Oh well, New York is fun but not as glamorous as I thought. Unfortunately, I couldn't be bothered taking pictures and I only went out to explore most of the area at night. Places I went so fat include the Times Square twice!, Chinatown, Soho area, Grand Central Park, Natural History Museum and random grocery shopping. Initially on Friday I stayed at home cause I was tired and also afraid to go out just in case I got lost. After Elaine showed me how to get around the Subway I was going places. I bought a 7 day pass which allows me to go hop in hop out on any subway throughout the 7 days. Slurp slurp, the pass is like a free pass hahaha.
I'll try to take more pictures soon. I'll be going to the malaysian consulate to try and renew my passport and also go around Central Park at the daytime. Also I might go to the Metropolitian Art museum at the Upper East Side, the poshest side of Manhattan. Maybe I can go bergigolo there hahahaha. Ok back to reality.
I'll try to take more pictures soon. I'll be going to the malaysian consulate to try and renew my passport and also go around Central Park at the daytime. Also I might go to the Metropolitian Art museum at the Upper East Side, the poshest side of Manhattan. Maybe I can go bergigolo there hahahaha. Ok back to reality.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
