The Time Has Come

I'm very sure that every Asian friend that I have would have gone through the countless brainwashing that we go through courtesy of our parents. The propaganda would be that you must study hard and that without that degree you would be equivalent to a useless delinquent with no hopes and future. So for me I would then assume that if I had that degree you would have the whole world in your hands, able to buy that Ferrari that I'd long for.

Then you guys would assume that in exactly 2 weeks time when I graduate I would be the happiest soul on earth. My parents would be coming down to witness it. I think it is more to confirm that I really did graduate, much to their surprise and then after checking out that I really did graduate, I think no one would be happier than my parents when I finally throw that fucking hat up in the air as a symbol that I'd graduated (after going through education, I believe throwing that hat up in the air is a symbol of how much money has been thrown away in the name of 'education').

Ok, from this point I really sound like a fucking ungrateful brat pouting and ranting, but let me finish and get to my point. You see, I should be so happy that I had finally graduate and get my Ferrari. But to my dismay, I'd realized you're not even a quarter way there. I have been given a perception that with a degree I would be able to do wonders and stuff, which many of you would realize that it is not necessarily so. It is no big secret that studying in the United States of America (know short as the US) has been a big challenge for me, physically, mentally everything. Dealing with the assignments and stuff is nothing, but the politics and the bullshit that I had to endure over this last two years has shaped my thoughts, perceptions and outlook towards life. Unfortunately, overall it has shaped me negatively, as the once thin happy-go-lucky cheerful outgoing me has become to be a grossly overweight 200 pounder pessimistic lethargic anti social brat. I'd realized that I rather stare at the computer screen the whole day rather than to go out with my friends. Well, hell I don't even consider them as friends and maybe they're not so bad and it's all in my mind but after going through alot of two faced backstabbers, I'm not taking my chances.

To sum things up, a degree is nothing but a piece of paper saying that you have a certain profeciency in a particular job like marketing, engineering etc etc. I feel the most important skill one should develop would be the ability to communicate and get along with people. It doesn't matter if you're utterly dumb or stupid, as long as you have people by your side, just ask George Bush. You don't see billionaires like Bill Gates having a degree. Hell he even dropped out of Stanford College, and look what he has become.

Somebody once told me that I should savor this moment and be proud of myself of what I have achieved. Well, you can feel proud if you feel you are, and I'm not feeling any of it. I don't even feel like going for the graduation ceremony cause I don't feel proud of it. Maybe my parents are, but I certainly am not because I don't think there is nothing to be proud of. Lately I have been having depression over this graduating thingy. I don't even know why it has become of this but seriously I think I am really fucked up at this point. I can see myself going insane when I'm trying very hard not to. I even joked about having this quarter life crisis. Sigh.....