Happy new year to all my beloved friends!!!!! May 2008 would be a meaningful and joyful year for all of you.
I didn't celebrate new years this time as compared to last year when i was stuck in Chicago in the cold on Navy Pier watching the fireworks. Instead I'm just sitting here on my sister's desk playing counter strike and talking to some of my close friends. Just after new year there was a bunch of fellows that ran around my sisters neighbourhood celebrating the new year. I didn't see them but i heard them celebrating. It was rather funny as I was stoning on the computer and then suddenly 'ting ting ting ting Happy New Year wooooo!!!!! ting ting ting ting'. I remember exactly 5 years ago I was watching fireworks on San Diego bay. I remember back then I was so uncertain about the year that is ahead of me. This year, I'm still uncertain about the year ahead of me, albeit it would be a whole different uncertainty.
In april i would be graduating and would be finally done with school. All those bloody years of education that made my parents a few million dollars poorer would finally come to an end and it's time for me to make all those money back not only for myself but to my parents. However, it's gonna be a rough beginning for me. I'd finally made a decision to do OPT for one year (OPT stands for optional practical training in which you're given like a one year working visa) and then see where it goes from there. Shall the boss of my company loves me and wants to sponsor me, then hallelujah i would get a proper H1 visa to work in the United States. If the boss hates me then I guess I would sabotage his computer with child porn and then return back to Malaysia.
I apologize to some of my friends who keep on asking me to come back to Malaysia, but given the complicated circumstances that I'm in, it is quite difficult for me to come back. Another thing is that I'm quite used to the lifestyle over here. Yes I may comdemn that US people are ignorant bastards that like to waste food and so on but I've become one of the US fat bastards! Haha! Furthermore, with the political upheaval in Malaysia, I rather be working with ignorant US bastards and know through hardwork I would get my reward than to work hard in Malaysia and let those Malay bastards step on my head and reap my reward with their smelly arms stretched out that I could smell their smelly armpits as they've never showered for a million years. Forgive me for my racism but I can tell you that's pretty true about the situation in Malaysia. Furthermore more of my friends are whizzing off to Australia as it is such a breeze to get PRs over there. Now where is my blonde American wife so that I could get my PR? hehe
On a more philosophical note, I read on PostSecret of a postcard written 'I feel that I don't belong anywhere, and I'm ok with it'. Somehow this phrase hits me. Even though I feel comfortable living in US, I'm still an outsider, a foreigner. In Malaysia, I feel at home, but I don't feel comfortable with the system, not just the political system but like how things are done in Malaysia. Furthermore, coming to California is great as I could spend time with my family, but certain events has left me quite dissappointed and they have different priorities in life. This made me feel that I don't belong anywhere. Sure I know I have great friends and a loving family, but things just ain't the same, and the feeling of belongness with them is gone. It's not that I'm happy with it, it's just that I've accepted things the way they are and just make the best out of the situation.
Ok then, I just wanna wish you all Happy New Year again to you all. Have a great year ahead. Love you all and best of luck
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