It's been a while

Hi to those who are still reading this? I presume there is no one reading here already but out of the blue I realized that I had a blog and decided to write on it.
What is there to say? Hmmmmm, it's been a year since I first started my job. What do i think of it honestly? Erm, actually the company I'm working at now has a very laid back atmosphere and colleagues are very helpful (well, most of them). However, i don't know if it is a good place to work. I think I am getting complacent here. I think i really need a good kick in the butt. I also seem to be not taking any interest at all of my work here. I don't know if I'm in the right field as well.

It seems that my quarter life crisis is creeping back again. Actually I think it never really go away. My one over year in Malaysia has given me mixed feelings. I still don't want to stay here long term but I'm getting comfortable here. Whenever I get too comfortable, I feel guilty thus get agitated.

Maybe what someone told me was right. I shouldn't be always looking for excuses and exit options etc etc. Should just look down and bulldoze your way through and not always looking everywhere thinking where to go but not moving.

Recollections of Thoughts

As some would know, recently a schoolmate of mine suddenly passed away. Seeing how much he has achieved within that 23 years makes me shameful and small at the same time. I ponder upon whether I could even achieve what he has in my lifetime.

I'd never knew him personally. In secondary school there were 5 science classes. In a way the first three science classes was the smart ones while the last two weren't the so good classes. I was in the latter thus I guess I'd developed an inferiority complex. Well, predictably he was in the smarter class so I'd labeled him like the rest of the people in the first three science classes as snobbish smart people. Looking back I was being so judgmental. What's more unfortunate is that I still am a judgmental prick.

I remembered not too long ago I attended a seminar and that that person asked me what would the tombstone say about you? What legacy would you leave behind? What you would had contributed to society up till then? I look at that person half cursing him as my shallow mind thought he is cursing me that I would die young. In view of recent events, I guess it's time to seriously think of those questions posed onto me.

Cutting Steam

There was this instance I was talking to a girl who is shy and pretty at the same time. Anywayz, I manage to strike a conversation about general things like what school we went to bla bla bla.

Everything was going quite well as we stroll along. She even asked for my number exchanged numbers. Then we continued talking for a while and then came along a question from me.

"So what did you do during the holidays?" I asked.
"Oh, I went to Singapore and stayed there for two months" she replied.
"Wow! That's quite nice" I said
"Yea I was there with my boyfriend in Singapore yada yada yada bla bla bla"
*speechless*

Haih, so potong steam.