Running thoughts

It's been a while

2009-11-09T07:05:00.000-08:00

Hi to those who are still reading this? I presume there is no one reading here already but out of the blue I realized that I had a blog and decided to write on it.
What is there to say? Hmmmmm, it's been a year since I first started my job. What do i think of it honestly? Erm, actually the company I'm working at now has a very laid back atmosphere and colleagues are very helpful (well, most of them). However, i don't know if it is a good place to work. I think I am getting complacent here. I think i really need a good kick in the butt. I also seem to be not taking any interest at all of my work here. I don't know if I'm in the right field as well.

It seems that my quarter life crisis is creeping back again. Actually I think it never really go away. My one over year in Malaysia has given me mixed feelings. I still don't want to stay here long term but I'm getting comfortable here. Whenever I get too comfortable, I feel guilty thus get agitated.

Maybe what someone told me was right. I shouldn't be always looking for excuses and exit options etc etc. Should just look down and bulldoze your way through and not always looking everywhere thinking where to go but not moving.

Recollections of Thoughts

2009-02-08T07:07:00.000-08:00

As some would know, recently a schoolmate of mine suddenly passed away. Seeing how much he has achieved within that 23 years makes me shameful and small at the same time. I ponder upon whether I could even achieve what he has in my lifetime.

I'd never knew him personally. In secondary school there were 5 science classes. In a way the first three science classes was the smart ones while the last two weren't the so good classes. I was in the latter thus I guess I'd developed an inferiority complex. Well, predictably he was in the smarter class so I'd labeled him like the rest of the people in the first three science classes as snobbish smart people. Looking back I was being so judgmental. What's more unfortunate is that I still am a judgmental prick.

I remembered not too long ago I attended a seminar and that that person asked me what would the tombstone say about you? What legacy would you leave behind? What you would had contributed to society up till then? I look at that person half cursing him as my shallow mind thought he is cursing me that I would die young. In view of recent events, I guess it's time to seriously think of those questions posed onto me.

Cutting Steam

2009-01-09T02:58:00.000-08:00

There was this instance I was talking to a girl who is shy and pretty at the same time. Anywayz, I manage to strike a conversation about general things like what school we went to bla bla bla.

Everything was going quite well as we stroll along. She even asked for my number exchanged numbers. Then we continued talking for a while and then came along a question from me.

"So what did you do during the holidays?" I asked.
"Oh, I went to Singapore and stayed there for two months" she replied.
"Wow! That's quite nice" I said
"Yea I was there with my boyfriend in Singapore yada yada yada bla bla bla"
*speechless*

Haih, so potong steam.

Man dies after being set ablaze by girlfriend

2008-12-22T04:27:00.000-08:00

For those who thinks only men are the violent ones who abuse their girlfriend/wife, please read this. Hope this breaks the stereotype of domestic violence are caused by men.

http://www.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/12/22/nation/20081222154135&sec=nation

JOHOR BARU: A 32-year-old man died after he was set ablaze by an assailant, believed to be his girlfriend.

G. Ganipathy was set on fire at a house in Taman Ungku Tun Aminah at about 7.30am on Sunday.

It is learnt that the victim had been renting a room with his girlfriend at the house. The suspect had allegedly doused him with petrol and set him on fire before escaping.

Ganipathy was in the toilet when the incident occurred. His housemates, who heard his screams, rushed in and quickly put out the fire before sending him to Sultanah Aminah Hospital.

However Ganipathy, who was 90% burnt, succumbed to his injuries at about 10pm the same day.

Johor Baru (North) OCPD Asst Comm Ruslan Hassan said police had identified the suspect, who is a 45-year-old woman.

“We are currently tracking down the suspect and are confident of apprehending her soon,” he said when contacted here on Monday.

He said police have classified the case as murder under Section 302 of the Penal Code.

“We are exploring all angles in the investigation,” he said, adding that the body had been sent for post-mortem.

The Negative Effects of Low Gas Prices

2008-12-17T11:37:00.000-08:00

I think most people now would be really relieved that gas prices are on a 3 year low, albeit to Malaysians it wouldn't really matter as they are ripping off RM16 million a day off us. Anyhow, across the sea to the US of A, gas prices are less than half of what I used to pump a few months ago. During that 'good old days', gas prices was so bad that demands for alternative fuels sprang up, where the most popular alternative was electric propulsion. For those who really can't figure out, it means electric cars.

Ever since the fall of gas prices, the sales and interest of electric cars fell as well. Heck, since gas is so cheap why bother with the electric cars which is generally more expensive and has limited distance. The answer is very simple, and that gas prices would go up again.

The problem with us human beings are that we fail to see things long term. It takes a very wise man to envision the future. For the rest of us, we're just rejoicing over cheap gas, like I myself. My immense interest and research towards electric cars suddenly comes to a screeching halt and it has been months since I read up an article about those companies like Aptera and Tesla. I can safely assume that the average person would had all but forgotten about those electric cars as well.

So there you go, our addiction to oil is here to stay and hopefully those electric car companies are able to withstand the economy downturn as well. While typical companies benefit from low gas prices, it means less interest on electric cars which are typically more expensive than the gasoline car.

Are You Stupid?

2008-11-25T08:19:00.000-08:00

Please read this article here http://edition.cnn.com/2008/US/11/19/autos.ceo.jets/index.html . You know I can't imagine how fucking stupid this people can be. These guys are paid millions a year to run a company that is losing billions a month! It is no wonder the Detroit 3 are going down. They really should just go down.

A Scent From The Past

2008-11-24T04:08:00.000-08:00

Just this evening, my dad came back from Kota Kinabalu, the land of the blow-pipers. Nevermind about them, the thing was that my sister's in-laws stay in KK and that they just came back from the US, where they were staying with my sister and her husband. Before they came back, I ask my sister to help me get two bottles of body shampoo that is not available in Malaysia. I got it alright, plus a Calvin Klein working shirt and a Nike long sleeve sports attire with the price tags still attached to it. As I look at the price tag while sniffing the body shampoo (I know it's wierd...whatever!), I closed my eyes and for a while imagined I was in the good 'ol US with even cheaper gas prices than Malaysia, blazing internet speeds and 'o so cold weather with fairy-tale snow.

Seriously though, time really flew by this time. It has been almost three months since I got back to Malaysia. Furthermore, the past three weeks was spent in acclimating myself to my new job, which like everything new and unfamiliar is quite a challenge. So when I came back home and got hold of these items, I was feeling all nostalgic again.

The body shampoo!!!

The two clothings that I have.

The view from my room of the car covered with fluffy white snow.

As annoying as it is, I really miss snow now......

Something very logical

2008-11-22T11:55:00.000-08:00

I want you all to read this article. In my humble opinion, the person quoted in the article makes alot of sense, very noble and very forward thinking. I think he deserves to be given a good praise for spending his precious time coming up with this kind of things. It would be very beneficial to everybody.

For those who wants to know what I'm commenting about, go to this website http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/11/22/nation/20081122111842&sec=nation . Please tell me what you think.

My first official work week

2008-11-09T04:50:00.000-08:00

A week has passed by where I had officially started work. Honestly speaking, I feel very lost cause I dunno what to do and stuff like that. The company also had a scholarship award where I was merely an observer. My boss however told me that I would be organizing the next event which is in December.

Starting work makes me realize that I still have a lot of learning to do and experiences to go through. It is one of major points in life I guess. It is no wonder my parents was so tergila-gila over it. I guess the next big thing is, a big fat paycheck *slurp*. Actually in reality it is just a skinny skimmed no fat paycheck. Ahahaha!

To put yourself in one others' shoes

2008-10-26T12:14:00.000-07:00

It is not a big secret that I don’t get along with most people. But don’t get me wrong here as I’m not a social outcast whom couldn’t socialize with anyone. What I mean not getting along is that my views as compared to the society is often to the contrary and at most times vulnerable to misunderstanding. This is why more often than not I have to suppress my freedom of speech and to just go along with the crowd. Even on my blog I have to make sure that what is said out here does not create a misconception let alone offend people. However, exceptions once in a while on my own blog wouldn’t hurt so much I guess.

One of the better things in Malaysia as compared to the US would be that it has Hitz fm. There was a radio station back in Kalamazoo which was similar to Hitz fm; that it repeats the songs that are deemed as ‘hits’. The problem with the radio station in Kalamazoo is that they would have a severely limited amount of songs that would be put on repeat. It is as though the whole radio station is running of an ipod with just only 10 songs in it. I can still remember when I was working in the cafeteria and the Umbrella song was included in the 10 song list that in an hour you could hear ela ela ela ela eh eh eh eh under my ela ela ela eh eh eh eh a few fucking times much to my desire to shoot myself in the head.

Excuse me while I get sidetracked here. Back to Hitz fm, instead of ela ela ela ela eh eh eh you hear a lot of advertisement which are far less annoying. One of the advertisements that really got my attention was about getting people to report about women abuse. It got me thinking about how the society would react towards women abuse. Shall we live in a less civilized country I am sure that the abuser (which of course would be the men, typically the husband) would be detained and be beaten to death by a bunch of bra-burning-unshaven-armpit-hair-men-hating feminists. In a civilized country we would take pity of the abused and often or not report to the feminist agencies or whatever they call themselves. As I think about this scenario here comes my unorthodox thinking which often is controversial. Feminists can stop reading here now.

I had always wonder why would a woman choose to stay in a relationship if it was an abusive one? Given the social advancements of gender equality a women walking out of a relationship would not cause a social uproar unlike the medieval times where they would be stoned to death. By saying that walking out of the relationship is as easy as walking out. As for those who stayed on believing that their partner would change for the better and that she loves him very much, that is being abused by choice therefore the ball is in her court now. So as for those claiming to be abused and what not, I always have the feeling that they’re nothing more of attention loving people seeking to get attention by saying they were abused. Most of the time real abuse cases are rarely reported and that reported abuses are often nothing more as a way to either seek attention or to get back at their male counterparts. Believe me, I experienced this before with me claiming to be the abuser and stuff. Most of the stuff that I was accused of is absurd to say the least.

In conclusion, if you heard rumors about how this woman was abused and is the talk of the town, think again. Refrain from getting emotional and be rational for a moment. There are always two sides to a story and obviously people would twist & turn facts to their advantage and one of the lethal ammunition that women have would be to be claimed a rape/abuse victim. I’m not saying that all of them are liars; just that one should be smart enough to think twice before starting a witch hunt on the opposing sex.

Overpaying in Malaysia

2008-10-25T11:32:00.000-07:00

To be honest with you, I'd already gotten used to Malaysia. However, there are some things that I long to have like my own car, cheap stuff and a host of other things. I've come to realize that living in Malaysia is really expensive. One may argue that food is cheaper and stuff but I beg to differ so. Yes, eating at restaurants are cheap compared to US but buying food from the supermarket are really expensive. Case in point is a pint of Haagen Daz costs RM30.90. In US the price is 3.50 (this price is incredibly marked up. Typically it costs around 3 dollars). You don't need to be good in maths to realize how much we're over paying for stuff. Granted this is luxury items, there are many other stuff like sphagetti and stuff which I do not consider as luxury food items and yet they're really expensive.

Let's get to transportation. There's no need to go through the fact that we're overpaying for a car. The government loves to tell us that they're subsidizing our petrol. Lately they had reduced it to a mere RM0.30/litre which is peanuts as 30 cents can do jack in RM currency. Nevermind about that, lets take the current price of oil per barrel. From oil-price.net, the price per barrel is at USD64.60. Let's overprice our USD and set it at 1USD = RM3.60, which at USD64.60 = RM232.56. A barrel of oil equals to 117.35 litres. So RM232.56 divided by the 117.35 litres would come out to about RM1.98 per litre. Minus another 30 cents subsidy that is supposedly given to us would amount to RM1.68 per litre. Right now for those who are living in Malaysia we all know that we're paying RM2.30 per litre. So aren't we like overpaying our petrol by over 30 cents?

Parking at IKEA for only 85 cents. How?

2008-10-16T06:06:00.001-07:00

You know if you go to IKEA in Damansara Perdana, you can get free parking at the IKEANO power center with any purchase from IKEA. This means you can buy anything and still be able to get the free parking.

I guess you all would know where this is heading to. Just go buy the cheapest stuff that you can ever buy from IKEA and then get the free parking. The cheapest thing I found so far was a mug that is priced at 85 cents. So just go buy that mug and then get the free parking. This deal is even sweeter during the weekends as it is 2 dollars for the first 3 hours as opposed to a dollar for the first 3 hours.

So even if you wanna go to The Curve, I suggest parking there not only because of the free parking but also it is more expensive and their parking system is confusing. Just remember don't do it too often as they might find out we're abusing the system. Wahahaha kiasuness......

British Movies

2008-09-30T22:01:00.000-07:00

Recently I watched a show titled Flashbacks of a Fool starring Daniel Craig, you know the guy who is playing the latest James Bond. This movie along with other British makes are quite pleasing to watch as those movies give you a sense of nostalgia, which is very rare in a testosterone charged full of violence and sex scenes hollywood movies. Not that Flashbacks of a Fool doesn't have those, its just that somehow the British does it in a classy style, not skanky.

Anywayz, while watching this movie, there this hot chick which as usual I would go crazy over her. Her name is Felicity Jones and she's one year older than me. Unlike my usual liking of blonde hair blue eyes, she is a brunette.

Oh well, the point I'm trying to make here is that you all should try British make movies once in a while. Come to think of it, I seem to have more preference towards non-hollywood movies as they have some originality in it. Hollywood movies has become very generic as of lately. Go and watch them and tell me what you think.

The New BMW 7-series

2008-09-23T00:16:00.001-07:00

Has anyone seen the new BMW 7-series? And I thought the the previous generation 7-series was an absolute disaster. A picture is worth a thousand words. So let me show you two-thousand words worth of pictures.

'I'm a little piggy here's my snout, oink oink oink, oink oink oink."

The back is likened to a tumor that has been festering on the tail lamp. If they had made the tail lamp a sleek line across then it would be much nicer. Even the 3 series tail-lamp look like a down syndrome kid with cock eyes. Its a wonder if the BMW is still a desirable automobile.

Speechless.....

2008-09-08T00:52:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you Malaysians out there would know about the Ahmad Ismail's remarks upon the Chinese Malaysians. In this day of age, I'm appalled and shocked to find that this kind of remarks can still be shouted out in Malaysia. Shall he does this in western countries he would be F'ed in the A so hard that even Saiful would pity him.

Ok lets get to the facts shall we. Fine, Ismail wanna bring out as us Chinese Malaysians being 'squatters' to Malaysia, how about you Malays? Lest not forget that your Parameswara was a damn immigrant that went to Temasik (Singapore) and killed the leader there. So it is safe to assume that not only the Malays are squatters in line with the Chinese but also a senseless cruel murderer.

Still talking about facts; Malays might be the majority in terms of population numbers, but lets get real. In this day of age a country is pretty much defined by its financial status. The Chinese, being the squatters are contributing over 80% of tax revenues to the government, which most of it falls into their cronies and 'Malay development'. So you tell me, do you really think that us Chinese Malaysians, given the choice would want to continue staying in Malaysia? Why would you think scores of people are running away from this country? Even the educated Malays who are not blinded by the political screen?

An apocalypse

2008-09-04T09:31:00.000-07:00

It is wierd. After spending almost 20 years of his life in his home country, he suddenly feels alienated. Systems that are unfathomable, life that is questionable, he plows through the day. While last time he sleeps late into the night after a nice outing with friends, now he is withdrawn. He now goes to bed early in hope of a better day tomorrow, which often enough turns out worse than before.
Frustration mounts inside him, he doesn't even know why. Soon depression creeps in, again he doesn't know why. While skies are blue as ever, his eyes sees gloomy depressing skies. Living in denial, he tries to sleep it off only to find his life getting darker and darker. He even wonders if the sun ever shines.
'I need to get out of this hole' he says. He feels as thought he's trapped. Don't ask him why he just feels so. He thought things would be better when he comes home but then he soon realized all of his friends has left their home. One by one, slowly all went away, leaving him here all alone.
Perhaps there would be better days. He should be positive and hope for the better. He should look for alternatives if his home is less desirable as he thought it would be. Above it all, he should try and get over it.

Clémence Poésy

2008-08-28T18:51:00.000-07:00

To those very few whom I've been talking to lately, you would know who is this girl. Right now this lady is the only reason why I feel like jumping on a plane and fly off to France to look for her. But anyways, as with most French words, her name is pronounced as clema pozei, if this actually gives a more accurate pronounciation.

It was in one of the random movies that I had when I first got to know about her. The name of the movie is In Bruges, which talks about two murderers and she plays as a drug dealer. Damn if all drug dealers are this hot I would become a drug dealer myself as well haha! After cyber-stalking her i get to know that she plays as Fleur Delacour in the 4th installment of the Harry Potter movie. She is also a model and currently one of the spokesmodel of a fragrance called Chloe, which incidently the name of her character in In Bruges.

I recommend you all to go watch In Bruges although I must warn you it has an artsy wierdy kind of theme going on. It's not your typical hollywood jock chick flick that you ever so often find on movies. It can get quite boring as it doesn't really have a solid storyline behind it, which revolves around a vague romance between one of the murderers and Chloe.

One of the scenes in In Bruges

This is Clemence in the Harry Potter as Fleur Delacour

And this is one of my favorite pictures of her. *slurp! haha

Till then.........

The thought of it

2008-08-28T00:35:00.000-07:00

I'm gonna be back in Malaysia in 2 days time. Knowing myself I can say I won't be back in US for quite sometime although I might leave some remnants of my existance in the US.
Been talking to my friends about life in Malaysia in general. In most it is of negative perceptions and one of my friends told me to forget about the air ticket and just stay back as it could well be the best 900USD spent. I have a friend who told me that Malaysia is changing because Anwar won the election. My opinion that if you think Malaysia is changing for the better you're disillusional as it takes a least a generation (20-30 years) to have some noticeable changes as a whole. Being partially Americanized & impatient I want things instantaneously, which is of a rare occurance in Malaysia. To buy a car in Malaysia is a week long affair. When I sold my car about a week ago, it took just 4-5 hours to take a look at the car, apply the loan, driving up and down to cash in the check, buy insurance and register the car. Even a bloody loan can be approved within seconds. Just to show that Malaysia has serious efficiency problems.
Another thing would be that I'm so used to the US system. I know how to register my car, renew the license plates, buy insurance, open a bank account, apply for social security etc etc. I remember back in the good old days when my mom was still driving the Kancil paying just a freaking bill would take an hour. Paying everything would be a day long affair. As nothing could be done online, it is a serious chore running here and there wasting precious time, petrol and money just to get things around in Malaysia.
But before you all think this is another rant of me stepping back to third world country, you are wrong. As much as I try to stay away from Malaysia, I cannot hide the fact that I'm excited to go back. Maybe it is because I'm bored out of my wits waiting to go back, but I cannot deny the fact that after being in Malaysia for over 20 years, I can't help but feel at home with my parents and having a sense of familiarity around. And after staying in different countries of different cultures, I come to realize that each society has its postives and their drawbacks. I can't change the fact that I'm going back, so I might as well stay positive and look forward to things that will come. Life is too short to dwell on the negativity, and so I shall stay positive no matter what.
..............who the hell am I kidding? OMFG, I'M GOING BACK TO MALAYSIA! FUCK ME!!!!!!!

Everything's Gone!

2008-08-22T01:38:00.001-07:00

I was awaken by a call this morning. The night before there's this girl who e-mailed me about my car. I told she could see the car tomorrow and therefore the call. At first I was not expecting a sale of the car as I had so many close encounters of selling the car. Actually it was two person one which was too picky about the fact that a 9 year old car doesn't look brand new and costs only 5000USD. The other one was some Indonesian student who told me to hold on to the car till he finish his finals only to delay it by saying he wants his friend to check the car. He or the friend never showed up and calling him a couple of times he refused to pick up his phone and never called back after leaving him a voicemail asking him whether he wants the car or not. You see this is why sometimes I hate Asians, no offence really.
But this time was different. Not only that it was the only girl who was interested in the car but this sweet looking girl with sky blue eyes showed up with her whole family. As I was only awake for about 5 minutes I was dazed and just stoned while letting the family have a look at the car. She told me then that she'll be applying for a loan to get the car and then left. I thought an application of the loan would take a few days but I was surprised that at the end of the day the title was handed over and the check cashed in.
Sigh, so now I'm left with no car which is a big thing for me as taking away my car is akin to throwing me in jail. As though it couldn't get any worse, my phone line is officially dead as I disconnected it a tad bit too early before heading back to Malaysia. So I've lost my communication and my transportation, although i'm like 5k richer.
Oh and that brings me to the fact that I'm going back to Malaysia. The time has finally come. Me and my friend booked our ticket a few days earlier and we were staring at each other coming to the realization that we would have to go back to the oppressed, surpressed, racialistic, analistic, chaotic and smelly little country. We fought for like eternity on asking who should go buy the ticket first. In the end we both took our laptops and book it together with sombre silence.
Ok I know I'm like over reacting to this and stuff, but I can so imagine being helpless in Malaysia. For one I used to do everything online; banking, information, finding stuff and so on. Another thing would be that I couldn't just key in an address and let the wonders of the GPS do the work for me. I know there is a Malaysian map but it's pretty inaccurate and stuff. Sigh, I guess coming back to third world country from a develop country takes some getting used to.

Mistaken Identity

2008-08-12T03:58:00.000-07:00

I know I might be a few days late watching the Olympics opening but I'm wondering if anyone actually watched the opening on BBC (British Broadcast Channel). You know when they had the parade of the athletes, and it was Malaysia's turn to parade.
Now the funny thing was that the commentator said that there is about 6 million ethnic chinese in Malaysia and then proceeds to talk about Lee Kuan Yew, one of the most influential leaders in the country and also implementing controversial governmental policies. Wait a minute, isn't Lee Kuan Yew the leader of Singapore?
It then makes me wonder, what if Lee Kuan Yew really was the leader of Malaysia? I really feel that things would be much more different in a positive way.

Isn't it Ironic?

2008-08-07T06:27:00.001-07:00

If anyone is watching CNN news lately, I think they would know what I mean when I say CNN news is seriously biased. I had always thought CNN is neutral upon reporting news and such but lately I am having serious doubts about it.

I'm sure by now you would asking why I would say that. For starters, the focus upon Beijing olympics is by most a negative one. They focused upon how bad the air pollution is in Beijing. And then they talked about how the Chinese government are bugging the hotels and taxis that enable them to listen to what they have to say. Furthermore, they have been reporting about how this Chinese kids are being sent to some special training center where they're being trained but the way CNN puts it is as though they're being tortured. That and I haven't even touched about attempts to sabotage China by reporting inferior products and the conflict with Tibet.

Seriously, they're talking as though the good 'ol USA is so totally clean with dandy sunflowers growing everywhere and blue skies looming all over. US citizens has the largest carbon footprint compared to any other people in the world. Furthermore, they're also the most polluted industrialized nation in the world, even when they dump most of their toxic waste to other countries and then crying out pollution on them. Talking about bugging hotels and taxis with microphones and cameras, in London there's a camera in every street corner. In the USA, they have an Executive Order in which the government could tap into your bank account and even listen to your cellphone conversations, although they try to justify it by saying they only do it when they have enough evidence to show that you have some linkage to Al-Qaeda or some islamic extremists.

And here comes the most ironic part. USA has been talking crap about how all this hazardous products that doesn't meet the safety requirements etc etc. When they attempt to punish those companies who were manufacturing these stuff, they shot themselves in the foot when those violating companies are based in the good 'ol US of A.

Eat Less, Move More

2008-07-31T08:30:00.000-07:00

It's so typical of big-bodied (more like humoungously huge bodied) people who can be bothered doing anything.

When the boredom stops

2008-07-22T16:15:00.000-07:00

Oh well, yesterday I went to Chicago. Unlike every other time where I go to Chicago and lepak, I went to Joliet, around 50 miles south west of Chicago to go for this Audi Driving Experience. I enrolled for this program about 5 months ago and totally forgot about it till this e-mail reminder told me about it.

I was hesitant to go there at first, but since Chloe, one of my friends was in Chicago I decided to kill two birds with one stone. So there I went and my first impression was that the track was in a really secluded area. I did not manage to take a lot of pictures as I was too gila over the cars.

I did a few laps around the track with a partner of mine. His name was Vince I think and coincidentally he graduated from Western Michigan as well, although he's in the class of '85. Anywayz, I had a short clip of around the track.

And I also manage to sit inside an R8 as well. You know about how supercars are like so exclusive and that you can even touch it. Naturally you would wanna get into a supercar and be in awe of the surroundings. Trust me, once I sat inside the R8 it was a bit disappointing cause it's very simple. I mean supercars are all about performance so nothing great inside the car.

Here's the engine of the car

After that I head to Chicago and met up with Chloe and her other friends. Chloe and myself hang around the Millenium park for a few hours catching up with each other before going to an italian restaurant to have dinner. Damn it I forgot what's the name of the restaurant already.

Chloe & Me (yes me fatty fat with trillion chin)

yummy yummy food.

Actually the food is ok-la, but then actually I can also cook that as well. Haha I've been practicing my spaghetti cooking skills for a few days already. Since it's already dinner time, I might just start cooking now till then bye bye!

Nothing much.....

2008-07-12T17:18:00.000-07:00

Hi people. It's been a while and there's nothing much to say here anywayz. Job hunting here is a nightmare and it is looking as though that I have to go back to Malaysia. Sigh......

Well, I guess it wouldn't be a bad thing to be discriminated and at the same time have 3rd world country salary. My friend who is in the same situation as me was saying that if we go back we'll go tour around Malaysia for some nice food and yes I know i'm very fat now. Oh well, after driving around in US for almost 2 years, driving around in Malaysia is a breeze in terms of distance travelled. I remember last time when travelling from KL to Ipoh I was grumbling at the 2 hour journey. Over here in US 2 hours drive is like a drive from PJ to KL.

So i really not sure what is in store for me in KL. While having a couple of beers with my friend we were arguing over whether US or Malaysia is better. He was saying in Malaysia it's easier to earn a living as opposed to US, where you have to pay alot of taxes etc. Anywayz, we never really reach an agreement but do agree upon the fact that US is good for making money and finding opportunities.

Oh well, nothing much to say already. I think I have to start thinking about getting rid of my stuff here. The only thing that I'm worried about is my car, and then getting my savings out of the bank which could take a couple of days. Till then I would keep you all updated on any other interesting things that I might stumble upon. Byez

Saving Petrol/Gas

2008-06-29T11:54:00.000-07:00

In the event of recent soaring gas prices, people are complaining how expensive they are. They can complain all they want until the cows come home, get slaughtered and eaten and still one can't control the prices, as the OPEC bastards are the one controlling the supply. So instead of doing that, there is a few ways you could save petrol.

1. Consider the car you're buying - Please do not be confused by the whole notion of people switching to a Prius just to save gas. It only when you are thinking of buying a new car that this option is viable. If you're thinking of just saving fuel, Prius is NOT the cheapest car in the long run. A diesel can achieve just about the same mileage and you don't have to contend with the battery change as your hybrid battery loses its charge. It typically cost about 6000USD just to change the batteries, which will counter your gas savings. If you really wanna be a hippie and own a hybrid, get a brand new one with a warranty.

Die hippie Prius!

2. Maintain your car properly - This includes changing spark plugs, air filters, fuel filters etc etc. If you're not sure what to do, go get a trusted mechanic to do the changes for you. It might cost quite a bit but in the long run a car that can runs properly would not only get more mileage from your black gold, but also potentially save you from expensive repairs due to excessive wear and tear.

3. The way you drive - This is the single most important factor of your MPG. You could potentially save up to 33% just by changing the way you drive. Some people think driving frugally amounts to driving like a grandma travelling 5mph. All you have to do is to follow the speed limit. In the US, traffic signals are design in such a way that if you drive within the speed limit you can drive through traffic signals without succumbing to a red light. Another way is to drive as though you don't have brakes. There are many ways of saving gas by driving properly, although there are technics that could be quite dangerous. For example inflating your tires over the recommended tire pressure and also drafting behind a semi. If you wanna learn more, go to http://www.cleanmpg.com/

There are like many ways that you can save gas. But usually the most effective way is simply to use common sense. So stop complaining and start acting upon the way you drive.

Random-ness

2008-06-23T12:43:00.000-07:00

It's been a week since I came back from California. Somehow rather everytime I go there, I always have a different outtake of life in a positive way. I heard from a person that of all the places he has been in US, California, specifically San Diego is one of the best places to be. Somehow rather I couldn't agree more.

The days in Michigan on the other hand is much longer now. Below is a few pictures that I've taken at about 9 something a night.

Other than that, I'm still trying to find job, trying to run abit to lose weight. There was a research that thin people has a 28% advantage over fat people to succeed in life. I think the reason is that a healthy body is a healthy mind. It also shows how committed you are as well. If you can't even take care of yourself, how are you supposed to take care of your jobs and other commitments?

'That' Commercial

2008-06-14T23:19:00.000-07:00

Just in case you guys were wondering which song of the Viagra commercial is, here it is. The last few seconds of the video

So now your head can get stuck to that tune and sing it in public.

Effects of advertising

2008-06-11T22:38:00.001-07:00

Spending time watching tv would inevitably lead to you being exposed to advertisement. Most of the time an hour long tv show is only 40 minutes with 20 minutes of advertisement, which means you waste about a third of your tv time watching advertisements.

Well, you know how advertisements are designed to attract your attention, whether ethical or not. For example they can include a sexy hot chick, which works like 100% of the time to men unless they're gay. Other ways include gory images, violence, or even some catchy song.

Lately it seems there is a lot of impotent people around. Or maybe it's because it's the Viagra's 10th anniversary. Time really passes by fast, it was like only yesterday when I was joking with my friends in high school about viagra. Anywayz, they have this catchy song that they always sing whenever every freaking advertisement about viagra is aired. After long exposure to it, I found myself being hooked on to that catchy little song.

So on one fine day I was in a cafe minding my own business. I guess I was in some mind spasm mode as I had thoughts running around my head. Somehow suddenly out of nowhere this stupid viagra song come into my mind. Being in my own worldly state I did not realize that I was in a public place and like having a life on its own my mouth sang " Vivaaaaaaaaa. vivaaaaaa, viAGRAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!"

A few seconds later was one of the most wtf and embarassing moments in my life. As though being an Asian isn't outstanding enough, now I'm pretty sure that they must be thinking that this mad Asian is in need of not only some erectyle disfunction treatment but also a psychological treatment. Sigh, I think I should stop watching movies on tv. It's all your fault!!!!

Life in the San Diego, CA

2008-06-08T21:51:00.000-07:00

I pretty like the life in San Diego. I mean from where I come from, it's safe to say that anywhere in the US is better than where I am now. Anywayz, I think I'll let the pictures do the talking here. Thanks to Qi Lian for pointing it out that I've never posted pictures for quite some time. Finally after how many freaking years of studying, I've graduated. Am now officially a bum and begging for a job. Many thanks to my parents where without them I won't be where I am today, literally hehe.Me in Detroit, MI. GM building at the back. The place is really deserted and the streets were empty on a Monday lunch hour.Me and my mom in Chicago

Oh, I became an uncle again. This is my sister's second baby daughter Justine. Erm not sure how to spell her name in chinese, but her Chinese name sounds like 'crazy' in Cantonese. Ehehe that's how I remember her Chinese name.

That's me cooking up a fire for the BBQ. I think it was pork ribs and some grilled vegetables, where obviously I didn't touch the vegetables at all.

Erm and I still have another week left in San Diego. Gonna look for a job and if I could find one here that means goodbye to my life in Kalamazoo. Although I always complain that it's boring and stuff, It is actually one of my important chapters of life.

Bye bye to my house and my car. Don't think I'm gonna keep the car for long.

All in a flash

2008-05-29T22:15:00.000-07:00

I expected this morning to be a usual morning when I was awaken by my parents phone call. They then subsequently told me to hurrily book a ticket to California because they wanted the whole family to be there. In fact our whole extended family including my in-laws are there as well. As I was still reeling from my sleepiness, I was like 'huh? California? Sounds nice. Book ticket now-ar? Em, em, ok ok I'll book now.'

Zombiely I then bring out my credit card, book the ticket and gave my parents and extra 450USD bill and then it suddenly hit me. Damn I'm going to California! I had so many errands that I have to run because of that. Now I understand why my mom is so worried when going off for holidays. Had to settle electricity bill, rent, call my mom's friend if I could crash over at her place and then gas up my car and head over to Chicago.

Although I should be sleeping now for my 8am flight, I'm so freaking excited as I would be seeing my nieces. Yes my sister gave birth again to a baby girl. I think this is the once in a lifetime thingy to see a one day old baby tomorrow. Can't wait. Till then love ya guys.

Winning the lottery

2008-05-25T18:23:00.000-07:00

He just stood there stonecold. Just minutes ago, Dan was the winner of the Mega Millions lottery which is worth at about 135million dollars. Not knowing what to do, he just stood there and then subsequently fainted.

Well, I'm pretty sure it's everybody's dream. I mean who the hell minds having an extra couple of hundred millions at your disposal? Hell I can make do with a couple of millions right now. I'm pretty sure everyone who actually play lotteries would have that 'to buy list when I strike rich'. Suddenly everything seems to be more plesant. Even the skies are bluer than ever.

Here's an interesting anecdote. Almost 80% of lottery winners end up back where they were financially before they won the lottery. Not only that, they usually end up with more debts, broken families and also trust issues with almost anyone else. I can so imagine if I did win the lottery my long lost brother from Kenya would suddenly show up to claim his share of that money. People would flock to you like you're the sugar central for ants.

Come to think of it, having large sums of money is not necessarily a good thing as everyone thought to be. However, there are a few stuff that one can do to avoid all the negativity related to your lottery winnings. For one, just don't tell anyone(especially your wife!!!! haha), even if you have the best intentions of sharing your wealth. If everyone knows about your wealth, you wouldn't know who would be your true friends are. Hell, even right now I've been taken advantage financially, imagine all the gold diggers when you're worth hundreds of millions.

Second thing would be to hire a financial advisor. In fact, this should be the very first thing you should do when you strike the gold. Having a person who are professional in handling funds ensures that you wouldn't get burned out. This should be the upmost priority, and would be the best investment you'd ever made. Of course, go make some investments on your own cause money would run out one day. Just ask the 80% of the lottery winners.

Thirdly, don't attract unwanted attention by flashing around. This is not to create jealousy and hate from other people. Just face it, people are jealous especially when the money you have literally fall from the sky. Everyone would of course would want the money as they think you don't deserve it and you driving your Lambo around doesn't ease their jealousy. So keep a low key life. Difficult I know as I would really love rubbing my Lambos against my other nemesis but remember, as cliche as it sounds with vast money comes great responsibility. The other benefit of not flashing around is that you do not waste your money on unecessary things, stretching your hard earned money to the limit.

Another thing which is related to the third thing is that to live a normal life. Your mentality is very important here and is that you want to live a normal life, not because you're worried of the consequences. Often enough happiness is a state of mind, not by the amount of zeros in your bank account. One must understand that extra wealth does not bring infinite happiness but rather just eases the worry of money. Go do the things you've always wanted like maybe travel around the world, fulfilling meaningful dreams.

Last but not least, donate a certain amount of money to charity, SINCERELY! I know alot of people donate large sums of money to charity because of tax benefits but that's a different story. Again sincerity is the key here. Don't underestimate karma as you would be surprised if you do. Do remember that in truth your money IS literally fallen from the sky into your hands, so go do something beneficial to the world.

I watched a show where her father comes to her talking about how foolish of her paying so much money buying those collectors cards and say they're essentially just paper. Her daughter then say 'Well then I don't understand why adults get so worked out over money. It's also paper right daddy?' Her father than couldn't say anything.

It's not about being green, you're just cheap

2008-05-17T13:57:00.000-07:00

You know nowadays there are companies who like saying that they're being green and that they're trying to save the trees, reduce CO2, save the animals, reduce pollution bla bla bla. To be honest, they're actually just trying to save money and then cover it up by being green. I mean how fucking cheap these companies can be? To prove my point I'll give you some examples.

My university is trying to reduce paper load. Sure with the internet and stuff they can reduce paperload and stuff like that but actually they're just trying to save money from buying papers and buying ink catridges. If they're so interested in reducing pollution and stuff why don't they install solar panels and change their whole fleet of service vehicles with electric or hybrid vehicles? Hell since you so gila green might as well don't use vehicles at all in the university campus.

My bank also another one. They want to encourage people to go online and be 'paperless'. You know if you say that you want to save administration costs and stuff like that then maybe I would understand and go paperless. However they really piss me off by saying I should go green and make it as though if you opt for monthly mail statements you're like a ultimate polluter and make you feel and look bad. Because of that I still opt to have monthly statements just to be a jerk.

In conclusion, companies just be honest and say that you want to cut costs. I can understand that as everyone wants to reduce expenditure. However, when you say you want to be green then seriously you're just lying. It makes me hate greenies!

Graduation

2008-05-02T05:01:00.000-07:00

So yea, for those who didn't know about this, I graduated. In a way I'm glad that I've finally finish studying and I don't have anymore nightmares about paper assignments and stuff. Anywayz, my parents would have the much deserved relaxation since my uni fees was taking a big chunk of their savings. I seriously wanted to burn my graduation gown but I can't seem to recruit anyone to do the same.

So what happens next? Well, I've already been granted a one year working visa and so I'm trying to get a job before my visa officially starts on June 1st. My parents saw Chicago for the first time and having seen things for the first time you would obviously love it and stuff. I heard job opportunities are aplenty in Chicago so maybe I might just go there and work for a while. The downside of this is that the rental would be expensive and I wouldn't think I would keep my car anymore. Hmmmm..... seriously so much things in my mind.

A Final Goodbye

2008-04-20T12:41:00.000-07:00

Last thursday, Derek (who is myself describing in third party, just in case people who are too blur) & Danielle had a final presentation for their marketing class. Danielle was Derek's partner and has been so since the beginning of semester. So on thursday itself, D&D was preparing for the epic final presentation printing out all the neccessary crap that is needed for the presentation. Not knowing to D&D was that Holy & Kirsten was having a final presentation as well.

While Derek was busy grabbing hold of his stuff and packing up, Danielle went over to Holy & Kirsten and started talking to them. After Derek clumsily grab hold of all the stuff, he went over to the 3 of them, where they started talking about other people who has went through the presentation. Derek being the shy one, started stoning and wishing how soon he would had finally be done with his final presentation. Actually, he kinda had a crush on Kirsten, and he was like thinking oh well this is the last time he would be seeing her as there are no more classes. Them all being dressed professionally was just a bonus as well.

Then out of the blue, Kirsten then suddenly turned to Derek, who was still daydreaming with his mouth wide open, started talking to him. This were her words "Oh Derek by the way, your haircut looks great! I saw that when you were walking in to class yesterday" (on Wednesday). At first Derek was stunned, like a deer gettig caught with the brightest set of headlights ever! He then sheepily said "Oh thanks alot!" and he could felt his face burning red with embarrasment.

Derek then thought to himself "OMG, is this some kind of sign or something? This whole semester Kirsten never even spoke a word to me and I was fine until she has to say those words" Sigh, Derek may never know what she actually meant, as he might never ever meet her again.

The Time Has Come

2008-04-13T01:48:00.000-07:00

I'm very sure that every Asian friend that I have would have gone through the countless brainwashing that we go through courtesy of our parents. The propaganda would be that you must study hard and that without that degree you would be equivalent to a useless delinquent with no hopes and future. So for me I would then assume that if I had that degree you would have the whole world in your hands, able to buy that Ferrari that I'd long for.

Then you guys would assume that in exactly 2 weeks time when I graduate I would be the happiest soul on earth. My parents would be coming down to witness it. I think it is more to confirm that I really did graduate, much to their surprise and then after checking out that I really did graduate, I think no one would be happier than my parents when I finally throw that fucking hat up in the air as a symbol that I'd graduated (after going through education, I believe throwing that hat up in the air is a symbol of how much money has been thrown away in the name of 'education').

Ok, from this point I really sound like a fucking ungrateful brat pouting and ranting, but let me finish and get to my point. You see, I should be so happy that I had finally graduate and get my Ferrari. But to my dismay, I'd realized you're not even a quarter way there. I have been given a perception that with a degree I would be able to do wonders and stuff, which many of you would realize that it is not necessarily so. It is no big secret that studying in the United States of America (know short as the US) has been a big challenge for me, physically, mentally everything. Dealing with the assignments and stuff is nothing, but the politics and the bullshit that I had to endure over this last two years has shaped my thoughts, perceptions and outlook towards life. Unfortunately, overall it has shaped me negatively, as the once thin happy-go-lucky cheerful outgoing me has become to be a grossly overweight 200 pounder pessimistic lethargic anti social brat. I'd realized that I rather stare at the computer screen the whole day rather than to go out with my friends. Well, hell I don't even consider them as friends and maybe they're not so bad and it's all in my mind but after going through alot of two faced backstabbers, I'm not taking my chances.

To sum things up, a degree is nothing but a piece of paper saying that you have a certain profeciency in a particular job like marketing, engineering etc etc. I feel the most important skill one should develop would be the ability to communicate and get along with people. It doesn't matter if you're utterly dumb or stupid, as long as you have people by your side, just ask George Bush. You don't see billionaires like Bill Gates having a degree. Hell he even dropped out of Stanford College, and look what he has become.

Somebody once told me that I should savor this moment and be proud of myself of what I have achieved. Well, you can feel proud if you feel you are, and I'm not feeling any of it. I don't even feel like going for the graduation ceremony cause I don't feel proud of it. Maybe my parents are, but I certainly am not because I don't think there is nothing to be proud of. Lately I have been having depression over this graduating thingy. I don't even know why it has become of this but seriously I think I am really fucked up at this point. I can see myself going insane when I'm trying very hard not to. I even joked about having this quarter life crisis. Sigh.....

Three Days Grace

2008-04-08T01:20:00.000-07:00

There's a new album from Three Days Grace called One X. For those who are not familiar with this band, they are the one who sang 'I Hate Everything About You'. Gone Forever is one of my favorite songs as I used to go through that shit last time. However, the most favorite song would be 'Animal I Have Become'. Telling you the names of the song sounds corny, but when you listen to the whole album I think most of you can relate to the lyrics of the songs. Anywayz, this is Gone Forever.........

Gone Forever lyrics

Don't know what's going on
Don't know what went wrong
Feels like a hundred years
IStill can't believe you're gone
So I'll stay up all night
With these bloodshot eyes
While these walls surround me with the story of our life

I feel so much better
Now that you're gone forever
I tell myself that
I don't miss you at all
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now
That you're gone forever

Now things are coming clear
And I don't need you here
And in this world around me
I'm glad you disappeared
So I'll stay out all night
Get drunk and fuck and fight
Until the morning comes
I'llForget about our life

I feel so much better
Now that you're gone forever
I tell myself that I don't miss you at all
I'm not lying, denying that
I feel so much better now
That you're gone forever

First time you screamed at me
I should have made you leave
I should have known it could be so much better
I hope you're missing me
I hope I've made you see
That I'm gone forever

And now it's coming clear
That I don't need you here
And in this world around me
I'm glad you disappeared

I feel so much better
Now that you're gone forever
I tell myself that I don't miss you at all
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now
That you're gone forever
And now you're gone forever
And now you're gone forever

Have you ask?

2008-04-05T23:22:00.000-07:00

Many times I have ask myself whether you are what you think you are or you are what the society perceives you are. Aren't we all struggling to just fit in with the society?

Have you ask youself what is right and wrong? Have you ask that something you thought is right maybe isn't that right or something so wrong isn't as wrong given certain circumstances?

Have you ask yourself whether this whole life thing is all a rat race. Get the As, get the degree, get the job, get the wife/husband, get the kids, then die.....

Have you ask that in this ever more increasing liberal world, with all the gender equality etc etc instead of feeling a sense of freedom we're ever more suffocated and being packaged to fit the society?

Have you ask what the fuck is life about?

Ditching that car...at least partially

2008-04-01T19:42:00.001-07:00

Many of you would know that I'm a serious car nut enthusiast. But now with the rising fuel costs getting ridiculously expensive I'm seriously wondering whether it is cheaper to just sell off my freaking car. As much as I love my car, that junk get's me only 15mpg running around the city even with me driving like a 200 year old granny. Furthermore, I've been using the bus quite often now to go to classes except for early classes as I always wake up late.

Come to think of it, I got the car because of some people nagging to get a car and so on. Now that she's not in the picture anymore and that I'm single, the car is basically more of a liability than a convenience. I still have to pay that odd 500dollars of insurance for no apparent reason plus gas which many people are saying going to hit $4.00 per gallon. For my friends who are living in EU countries, i know it's freaking cheap but coming from Malaysia, our petrol only runs around 2.29USD/gallon after conversion.

So I guess my freedom to go around is limited by how far I can walk or the bus can go. Not to worry though, I was thinking of getting a scooter! Yes, I can so imagine myself being a dork with a Honda Metropolitan scooter. It's minuscle 49cc engine goes to the top speed of 40mph. Me hovering over 200pounds would mean it might only go around 30mph. On the upside however, I am getting around 100mpg and it is classified as a moped thus no need to pay those fucking insurance bastards money for nothing. I might very well just do that after my parents go back to Malaysia after my graduation.

Oh well, that's all I can rant about for now. Have a freaking test tomorrow. Seeya all.

60lbs in 30 days? Imfreakingpossible

2008-03-28T10:23:00.000-07:00

As of Monday March 24th, 2008 I made up my mind to go work out everyday. My aim was to lose 60 pounds in 30 days, in which I realize I find it really impossible. Weghing myself everyday wasn't working either and I find out that I'm actually putting on weight rather than losing weight. Hmm maybe the first few days I'm gaining muscle mass before losing weight.

Sigh, I'm so freaking out now. The reason why I'm doing this is because I want to be able to fit in my freaking suit. Right now I'm barely fitting into it and if my suit can talk he would be screaming for air and shouting out "stop wearing me you're ripping me apart". But whatever-la, I'll stop looking at my weight for now and just freaking run and pump like a mad dog.

=.="

2008-03-26T01:38:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I wrote a post I know. I'm running out of ideas of what to say. Actually I have lots of things in mind these past few days ranging from where would I be after graduation to some shit that has happened in the past.

Going to the minisales school kinda haunts me. To me that time was the start of the downfall of my relationship. Somehow rather, although I'm sure I won't be going for the summer internship, there's this little thing inside telling me to go for it. Show everyone who the fuck you really are and rise up to the occasion. Looking back I wasn't mentally ready for it and maybe the second time around it wouldn't be so bad. Anywayz, I guess this is something which I would have to put at the back of my mind and it's nice seeing everyone again plus some new faces. Unlike the Malaysians in WMU, we all are very open and friendly towards each other. Maybe it's because we don't live in the same place, but I can feel the tension between WMU-ans when we hang around. Or maybe it's just my sensitivity.

There are things in life where although logically it is a stupid thing to do, emotionally is the very right thing to do. I sometimes feel life in general is very paradoxical. You know how we always say don't get too emotional, yet lacking emotional intelligence would become a serious disadvantage for an individual. I guess it's like the ying-yang thingy, where they say the opposites are interdependant and that it needs each other to survive. Maybe this explains couples usually have total opposite characters.

In life we'll have to learn how to practice moderation. It's no point being too emotional or too rational about it. This is one of the weaknesses that I seem to have; being too extreme and unable to go through the moderate path. I've noticed myself becoming too emotional over my last relationship to being too rational/blah about life. To me, my life now is one big emotionless vaccumm, which makes me as though i'm some heartless bastard without having any consideration of other people.

Well, this is one of many other things in my mind that I care to articulate now. Somehow, there is this feeling inside me that I've been keeping ever since coming back from Chicago. I'll see how much I can deny it before having to deal with it.

Boringness

2008-03-16T19:53:00.000-07:00

Since coming back to NYC, I felt my life is very stagnant. Everynight I would sleep at around 4 or 5 something in the morning, drive myself to classes and back cook dinner and then hang around. In an attempt entertain myself, I download movies to watch (and in case you're wondering, it is movies that you watch in the cinema =.=). It's not that there's nothing to do. I mean like today there was an International Food Festival. However, I can so imagine gold digger being there with 400 hp (go figure out what I'm trying to say). Lately also, I've been disliking certain group of Asians. Again, I shall just tell myself that they have been brought up this way and I'm wierd and different.

Anywayz, I was watching The Mist. This show talks about a mysterious mist that swept this little town and were trapped in this convenience store. To put things short, the mist I presume create mutations to the animals that breathe in the mist but is immune to humans. The result of the mutations are crazy screwed up animals flying around eating people up and stuff like that. While all this is happening, this crazy staunch Christian begins to brainwash the people in the convenience store, and the rational and sane people were chased out. However, this is not before one of them shot the Christian fanatic, in which I yell out " Yea you .............., you deserve is you son of a ............"

Cursing aside, this show brought myself to think of how can people change under extreme conditions. Before the mist, she was that crazy person who preaches to anyone that bothers to talk to her. Come to this situation, suddenly everyone become entranced in her preachings. I wonder what is the reason for this to happen? Well, as they were in a state of confusion with all the mists and all, they want to know what happened? Then along came this women who says judgement day has come bla bla bla and then she cite specific occurances and say that it is described in the bible. In normal conditions, it would be absurb to believe in what she's saying but in times of desperation, when all things doesn't make sense, hearing something less nonsensical suddenly seems very logical.

While we are always taught to be curious and know the 'why', curiosity kills the cat too. We are always asking why this happened and become so frustrated that we become emotional over it. Seriously, I should do some experiment and make myself a cult. The easiest way would be to confuse the person to the max and then somehow offer them a perfect solution by joining the cult. Somehow, with all these advances in technology and civilization, we are just animals after all and survival instinct would bring out the animal in all of us.

Another lesson learnt here, if a similiar situation like in The Mist happens, I would be sure to shoot the preacher first. Till then, sayonara.

Becareful of What You Wish For

2008-03-12T20:50:00.000-07:00

Before I delve further about what I am about to say, I failed to mention in my previous post that I'm thankful to my dearie Elaine for letting me stay at her apartment for 10 days. I greatly appreciate everything she has done for me while I was in NYC

Ok, this topic has to do about NYC as well. Actually it's more like my friends coming back from NYC. The thing was that while I was in NYC I had four other friends as well, including my housemate. For some reason, he started ignoring me and it has become so apparent that I'm greatly frustrated at my futile attempts to even try to talk to him. I don't know if I'm too sensitive but I feel that his dislike and ignorance towards me is greatly felt, and recently with his new arrival of his BMW, he got even more big-headed.

In a great anger plus a tinge of jealousy, I suddenly had this thought and actually mentioned to Elaine, "That fucker right, he think so big and stuff drive BMW want to show off. Furthermore now winter wanna buy sports car sure crash-wan."

Oh well, it did happen. It seems that the whole driver side of the car was wrecked and had it been reported to the insurance company it would be considered an insurance write off. In the end he decided to fix the car himself so that the car would still be considered a clean title instead of a salvage title.

Anywayz, I'm so shocked to hear that and at the same time I felt bad that I even thought of the idea of the accident, although I must say that it is such a waste of a good BMW. I told Elaine and she was like "omg, I shall not piss you off anymore. If not you would curse that I would fall down the stairs or something =.=" Anywayz, I didn't know I had such powerful influence on certain events. I wish though I would actually win the lottery and don't have to work ever again. And I've been thinking of it ever since I know what a lottery is.

But you see I never bought a lottery ticket even once since coming to US. This reminds me of my sister telling me a joke; One day, there was this beggar who prays everyday to god and ask that he would strike the lottery. With great persistence he prayed and finally god emerged from the clouds and then saide "My son, please go buy a lottery ticket for heaven's sakes!"

Back and Broke to the Max

2008-03-09T22:50:00.000-07:00

Finally I'm back from New York. In the process, I'm thoroughly broke and will have to be ultra thrifty if I were to meet my monthly allocated expenses. To sum things, New York City is really great. Yes I didn't visit the two supposedly most must places to visit and that is the Statue of Liberty and the Empire State Building. I wanted to visit those places but when I reached the South Ferry to hop on the ferry to get onto the Liberty and Ellis Island, I was shocked to see the miles long queue to get into the ferry. So I said screw it and then proceeded to get to Empire State building. I was about to get in when on the last minute I decided not to go in. I was already at the front counter but decided not to. One thing was that it costs 19 dollars to get to the 86th floor observatory and another 16 dollars to get on the 101th floor top deck observatory. Furthermore, I feel that it is the second best observatory as the WTC towers were taller and Sears tower in Chicago which is taller than both of the towers costs only 12 dollars to get in. Ultimately, I feel it's a rip off and after going up the Sears Tower, buildings are just building and when you're up there, the scenery are just the same.

People in NYC are surprisingly alright for me. Maybe this is because I grew up in KL, which I think Malaysians are more hostile than the New Yorkans. I didn't get mugged or shot but at the same time I didn't meet any New York elites that I can gold dig. When I was travelling to the airport flying back to Chicago, a lady came asked me how to get to the airport as this was her first time getting there. In the end, she offered to pay the shuttle bus fare from the train station to the airport which I feel was very nice of her. Come to think of it now, she jokingly said I could buy her coffee and maybe I should had and then exchange numbers so that in the future maybe I could find her in NY. Aigh....

Would I like to stay in NYC? Well, I stayed with my friend and she love NYC so much that she's trying very hard to stay here as long as she can. I on the other hand might prefer Chicago as it still has it's own unique characteristics and affordable at the same time. San Diego I imagine would be nice if I earn at least an annual six-figure income to be able to enjoy the place to the fullest. The greatest thing I can imagine off-hand would be to cruise on a convertible Lamborghini with my Tag Heuer sunglasses and driving down highway 101.

Anywayz, while I was busy soaking the NYC atmosphere, the Malaysian general election concluded to many's surprise. I am surprised that many people are surprised of the results, so much so that even the opposition were dumbfounded. To me I guess it was very much expected. As an internet savvy person, the amount of disgust and hatred expressed to the government is shocking that I here in the US am worried of getting back to Malaysia. I think this is the turning point of Malaysian politics. A certain party can be in power only for so long. From now on if the opposition does and excellent job in handling their territories while the BN continues waving their kerises in thin air very soon the next election the majority would be dominated by the oppositions. By the way, I'm still very skeptical about PAS. I can't imagine myself coming back to Malaysia after so long being overseas only to be kidnapped and forced to perform a circumcision upon me.

I'm sorry that I don't have much pictures to post here. I didn't take much pictures and those that I took are crappy ones. Oh well, till then good night everyone.

New York so far

2008-03-02T20:29:00.001-08:00

Oh well, New York is fun but not as glamorous as I thought. Unfortunately, I couldn't be bothered taking pictures and I only went out to explore most of the area at night. Places I went so fat include the Times Square twice!, Chinatown, Soho area, Grand Central Park, Natural History Museum and random grocery shopping. Initially on Friday I stayed at home cause I was tired and also afraid to go out just in case I got lost. After Elaine showed me how to get around the Subway I was going places. I bought a 7 day pass which allows me to go hop in hop out on any subway throughout the 7 days. Slurp slurp, the pass is like a free pass hahaha.

I'll try to take more pictures soon. I'll be going to the malaysian consulate to try and renew my passport and also go around Central Park at the daytime. Also I might go to the Metropolitian Art museum at the Upper East Side, the poshest side of Manhattan. Maybe I can go bergigolo there hahahaha. Ok back to reality.

2008-02-26T18:56:00.000-08:00

Lately if you all have noticed I've been in touch with my creative side. Suddenly I have this urge of drawing and expressing myself in poems. And for your info, it's not about rapping =.= . One of my lovely friends thought that I was some African-American wannabe rapping out these words yo! =.=' Seriously, I don't do rapping. Can't imagine a fat ching chong bastard trying to rap.

Anywayz, I'll be heading of for Chicago on Wednesday, then I would head off to New York on Thursday afternoon. Honestly speaking I'm quite nervous cause I'll be taking public transport. I get really nervous when I take public transport especially when I'm new to the place and that I would be lugging a big luggage bag around. Furthermore, I'm not really sure of what to do when I get to New York. Perhaps I would just visit those main attractions and stuff.

Another thing is that I'm considering if I should tell everyone about this blog. The problem is by doing that I would have to tone down my severe hating towards people, be more politically correct etc etc. The good thing about telling people about my blog is.......erm.......well actually the only plus side I can see is that if I want to indirectly crticize that person and then I subsitute that person's name as X or Y. Wahaha!

Hmm maybe I should just make another blog. Maybe i should put it as dhlee2.blogspot.com wahahaha

Unexplained emotions

2008-02-26T10:41:00.000-08:00

I think I need to escape
I need to go on an escapade
All these bullshit is driving me wild
To a point I’m getting blind

Why like this one may ask
To stay sane is such a daunting task
Pressure is from all directions
And the source of this there’s no explanation

I just wanna run & run & run
The idea sounds like fun
Well dream and reality there’s a lot of difference
As in reality there’s consequence

So this is what I have in mind
Looking for something I can’t find
Maybe if I close my eyes
Things would be as bliss as the blue skies

Untitled Feelings

2008-02-23T20:44:00.000-08:00

As graduation looms near
I find myself in fear
The fear of uncertainty
Which might result in a calamity

Oh what is this feeling
My stomach is reeling
My fear is rising
And there’s no way of hiding

The thought of time
That is worth more than a dime
Is that is running out
And I’m freaking out

The definition of life
Is currently in a strife
Trying to get my act together
Is a daunting task like no other

Perhaps there’s hope
Maybe I pray to the pope
Maybe my prayers are answered
Or He couldn’t be bothered

Bla bla bla
Life is an enigma
Hopefully I can understand it
But for now, fuck it

Crossroads

2008-02-22T21:36:00.000-08:00

In case you're wondering, I'm not talking about the movie which starred Britney Lunatic Spears. I'm describing about the situation I'm in now. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so here is a drawing describing how I feel right now.

I am aware that the picture is too small for some people to read it. The heading says "You have reached the crossroads of your life, what are you gonna do?" And if you look at the four paths it is money, self-fulfillment, love and acceptance.

Bad drawing aside, there are many other paths that can be treaded upon. However, I feel that these four are the most significant paths in my life. Knowing that I would be graduating soon, I would have to make a choice of what kind of path should I choose. I'm gonna elaborate more about the four things.

money - It is a no-brainer that this is the path many people love to take, including myself. Many equate the level of success depends on the amount of zeros that you have in your bank.

love - This is one of the most wonderful experiences that you can have. It is not limited to just the relationship but love among your family and friends.

acceptance - As human beings are social animals, people want acceptance from as many people as they want. Many confuse the money and acceptance; that if they have a lot of money they would be accepted by the society. In many ways it's true but they're accepting of your money, not you.

self-fulfillment - Have you achieved what you yourself want in life? Have you achieved what you want to do in this world?

For me, this four paths when chosen there's no way of turning back. Sure when you have tons of money you could buy your way back to the crossroads and choose acceptance, love or self-fulfillment. However, when you're too into something, like chasing after money, when you want to turn back time is lost and often it is too late. And if you choose the other three paths, you would need money to survive at some point.

This brings myself to a dilemma, what path should i choose? I guess the answer is to take the moderate path. It is possible to divide your commitment to four other different things, albeit it can be difficult. For me I'm always wondering if I could do that or not. The easy way out is to just strive on the money part but I know further down the road I would regret my decision.

There is exactly 63 days left for my graduation. It ought to be that the nearer you come to the crossroads, the clearer it is of what path you want. For this case, the nearer the crossroads, the blurrer and more undecided of what path I want to tread upon. Time is running out..........

To Live is To Suffer

2008-02-16T12:29:00.000-08:00

Although you can say that I'm a Buddhist, seriously I don't know much about the religion. Even when my mom goes to the temple and asks me to pray, I pray in plain english, not the religion codes that each respective religion has. I remembered everytime I pray, I also prayed that Buddha has a translator so that he can understand what the heck I'm praying about. Sometimes I felt he doesn't have one cause I felt my prayers are always never answered.

Now in my religion class, we're talking about Buddha. One thing that strike my mind is that to live is to suffer. It is understood that once we reach the end of our lives ie. DIE! our sufferings are then gone before going to hell and screening whether you should be back in earth or something. The reason of our suffering in this world is because of our desire and love for something impermanent like you love your dogs which might one day be met with a car accident or your parents whom like anybody else's parents would pass away and leave us behind.

I find this view rather pessimistic. Sure you will suffer in this world no doubt but you do not suffer all the time. Newton's third law of motion states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. In this world, I always believe in the end our lives would balance out, no matter how much money you have, where you live etc etc. Coming back to suffering, if you think life is all about suffering and it sucks, it's not entirely true. Sure suffering sucks, everyone from time to time suffer from various kinds of shortcomings, but if you never suffer from your life how would you know the feeling of joy and happiness?

In order to feel the meaning of joy and happiness, once has to feel sorrow and despair. All this are part of life. There is some need of contrast in your life. One can't feel a feeling of sorrow or happiness if their life is just constant and routine, so once in a while suffering is good.

Shootings again

2008-02-14T23:20:00.001-08:00

Just about 10 hours ago, there was a shooting incident in Northern Illinois University, killing five people, including the gunman who actually shot himself to death. Well, my usual self were to say that that fucking gunman deserved to shoot himself and then burn in all for all eternity. Somehow rather, this incident intrigued me into how does one person would be able to do such violent and inhuman acts. I can only conclude that these people either really think this is some Counter-Strike game or something, or that they really have nothing better else to do, or that it is a sign of lost hope and extreme desperation.

As usual, the whole circus act comes around, so typical of an American culture. One of them talks about fencing up all the universities and to install metal detectors upon entering the university campus. I can only imagine if I were late to school and I have to rush to class. Before entering the university I have to get down of my car, strip search me and my car before being able to enter. I guess we have a new excuse of why we're late. I'm sorry Mr/Mrs Professor, I was late cause the police thought my ipod was a detonator. The Americans are such that they are looking for the cure rather than preventing it. They focus so much on how to make the universities safer, when the root of the problem are the students itself. What makes a student hate the place so much that he wants to shoot everyone he could find? Have you people, who is supposedly the best country in the world realize that the problem lies within the psychological welfare of the students? Or American citizens in general?

Of all the shootings that I've found, shooters seems to have a similiar profile, and that they tend to be the loners who are often being ridiculed, harrassed or teased at school. Usually these people would develop psychological problems due to repeated stress of the bullshit that they receive. Soon they develop hate towards the people and to the school because they felt the school has not done enough to rectify the situation. As one explodes, shootings result. After that, their families then are being ridiculed and then politicians start taking advantage by playing with people's emotions to gain more votes. Then it is swept under the rug and pretend that nothing has happened. Seriously, what significant changes has been done since the Virginia Tech shootings? Hell nothing changed at all even back in 1999 when the Columbine High School Massacre happened. All they talk about is having more security, when I couldn't stress enough again that it is about your students, your people whom should be concerned about. If you take care of your people properly, there won't be any incidents like this. No happy people who are pleased with their university/school would shoot free-willy for the heck of it. Same goes that if people are happy about your great oh-so-ever-perfect USA, they wouldn't had take two planes and stick it into twin towers.

When the Virginia Tech shooting happened, it didn't really hit me because it was quite far away. Now that it has happened in Illinois, it is about a few hours away from my place. Watching it on the news with my friend, and he was literally freaking out. The thing was that I was trying to make it look like it's no big deal, when it is actually a big deal. However when I see my friend freaking out, I just have to put on the tough mask and try to calm him down. The newscaster who has tears on her eyes are not helping either, and the living room is filled with intense fear. One could not help but feel that YOU ARE THE NEXT VICTIM.

You know, it's wierd. All the metal detectors, sniffing dogs, an army of police officers etc etc are being used to prevent a shooting, when all you ever need to do is to simply reach out to someone in need. It doesn't cost anything except of few seconds of your time to ask what is wrong. That having said, it is only appropriate to say this to all my friends. You are all not alone and I'm there for you. You maybe physically apart but I would try my best to be there for you. I'm fucking serious and mean it that if you need someone to talk to or something, please don't even hesitate for a second to reach out to me. I'll drop everything and hear you out. You can say it's corny for all I care but I would not forgive myself if one day something bad happened to one of my friends and has to resort to desperate measures such as going on a shooting rampage.

There is more than 6 billion people on earth. Many talk about how crowded the world has become and how globalization has make the world a smaller place. However, it is wierd that people are more isolated than ever and the feeling of emptiness is ever more prevalent in one's soul.

Valentine's Day

2008-02-14T01:06:00.000-08:00

Being in the US, like most every other major occasion Valentine's Day is nothing more than a money making fiasco where the people who are really celebrating it are the florist who reaps in obscene amounts of profits from the sale of roses. Ever since coming to the US, the people kinda dull the whole thing; they dilute the meaning of the celebration so to speak.

I remember two years ago when I first got together with Elsie, the day before V. Day I spent the whole day in Mid Valley scouring around gaining ideas upon what to give to her. Even back in Malaysia, all the buzz about V. Day was huge as well, albeit not as bad as US, where every single fucking advertisements is about have you buy this diamond ring for her? have you buy this rose? have you buy buy buy buy buy buy buy buy buy................ Ok back to what I was trying to say, I got her this heartshape Leonidas chocolate that costs around Rm200 (about 60USD). And then I got her the customary rose for about RM15 (4.50USD). Suffice to say, she was quite happy and since we were together for barely a month, the honeymoon period was very much alive, so I thought at that time.

Fast forward to today, and I have a few of my single friends moaning about the cruel and lonely fate that has bestowed upon them, which is why we're single. It's as though it is the end of the world if they had no date for V. Day and it is like a social stigma not to have a date on V. Day. To be honest, I thank the almighty god for being single this time as I don't have to splash obscene amounts of money to please my significant other. In US the V. Day is brought into a whole different level, where like I said above you must buy this if not V. Day isn't complete and if you so happen to date a typical materialistic ignorant American, your date is sure to kick you out cold to freeze your balls off. V. Day has become a comparison ground for women to see which one has the most extravagant, most romantic, most lavish V. Day. It's as though the women all over the world would conglomerate and then hand out the oscar awards. Those who didn't make the cut would be sure to receive endless lashings from their gf for the rest of the year.

Oh I'm sure some of you must be thinking I'm sour grapes, but trust me I am not, seriously. I mean it was cool that I was shopping for gifts for my significant other being all chirpy and bouncing along buying gifts, but I've been there done that. My emphasis now is based on just doing the little little things in life, which unfortunately for most girls do not comprehend that. When I broke up with Elsie, she actually told me that when I gave her the gifts I didn't give her appropriately and so on. She told me that I left the presents at the backseat when I know she would put her books behind the car. She said that if I want to make it as a surprise she isn't impressed at all. Well to begin with I didn't plan it as a surprise. Secondly with all the effort that I've done, all she could remember when she broke up with me was how I didn't place the gifts at a place where she couldn't have seen. You should have seen my face at that moment. I think I had the most perfect WTF look on my face.

On a more bizarre note, I'm going to meet up with Elsie on V. Day to settle the phone bill and pass her the keys. I didn't realize it till one of my friends pointed out. They subsequently teased me that she might ask you back on V. Day, which is so corny. I then told them that my gold reserved has been digged dry and that her current 400hp bf has a bigger gold reserve to dig. No point moving back to me anyways.

Ok then, I have to go to sleep soon. I guess I shall call some of my gal friends to see if they had gotten the date that they've wanted or not. Till then happy V. Day to all my friends. Remember that this day is to cherish one another for who they are, not what they buy. Love ya all -xoxo-

Happy Chinese New Year

2008-02-11T21:13:00.000-08:00

Well, I think I just wanna make a proper post to wish everyone Happy Chinese New Year. As I have missed 2 chinese new years in a row now because of being in US, I've really lost touch of my Chinese side. Damn I also didn't call and wish my parents-leh.

In case you're wondering what I did for CNY, I was busy going to a career fair sucking balls in hope of getting a job in US. Right now my whole focus is upon my marketing class and trying to find a job.

In a pursuit of a career and what not, I always neglected the simple pleasures in life. For me it is a simple as walking at night with snow falling from the sky. I'd always looked at snow as really irritating especially when I'm always rushing to school and stuff. But seriously, when I was just outside walking around my apartment with the snow falling, I told myself that I would pretty much miss this moment when I choose to go to California or even back to Malaysia.

Oh well, I guess I have to keep reminding myself to aprreciate the simple things in life a little bit more. Till then, I have to get back to my work. Happy Chinese New Year again to everyone.

It's been a while

2008-02-09T10:33:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry for the lack of postings recently. I have been busy doing my work assignments, presentations etc. I know I'm only taking like 3 subjects instead of 5 subjects but this marketing class is literally driving me up the wall. Not only I have assignments but also countless frightening presentations that I have to do. The other day I had to do spotlighting, where the lecturer suddenly calls your name up and have to do a 2 minute presentation about the topic that we're learning.

So other than work stuff, things are quite alright. I helped my friend to get a new car today, and I'm so freaking jealous. It's a white Mazda Protege (or 323) and it is the top spec model. I suspect that this car has sport suspension as the ride was quite bumpy not to mention the 4 ventilated disc brakes. Sigh, I wish I have my Honda Fit now.

The other time we went to the gun shop. We were amazed by the amount of guns and ammo in that shop. We were joking that if we were to rob this gun store we can terrorize the whole Kalamazoo just to make things more interesting. On a more serious note, we were able to touch and cajole around with the hand guns and some variety of sub-rifles. The coolest was the Steyr-Aug, which I always use in the Counter Strike game. Hahaha they had a lot of guns in the gun shop that was also in the Counter Strike game. We plan to go there again and ask if there are any target practices around this area. It would be cool to just shoot around for the fun of it.

Ok, that pretty much sums up what I've been doing so far. I'm taking this opportunity to also wish everyone Happy Chinese New Year. To be honest I totally forgot about it until one of my friends wished me. Sigh, this new year I won't be getting any ang paos (money packets) I suppose.

South Haven

2008-02-03T12:51:00.000-08:00

South Haven is a lake beach of Lake Michigan. It is about 45 minutes drive from my place and in the winter you must be crazy going to the lake side. Well, we are a bunch of crazy people so we actually drove to South Haven at 1 in the morning and then walk towards the lighthouse, which is practically all frozen up. Words do no justice and here are the pictures.As the lighthouse is obivously next to the lake, it has the lake effect, where severe fluctuations of temperature happen when the land meets water. As a result, this structure has been literally glazed with ice. This is no thin ice as it is rock solid and attempts to break it result in my own hand being numb and sore.
This is me at the beneath the structure. Actually there is two post beside me that arches above me and it's all covered in ice. It's as though I'm in some ice cave or something.

This picture would let you understand better my description of the paragraph above.The view of the shoreline from the lighthouse.

Yes I know we are crazy enough to go there. It was really windy and we were drinking beer to keep ourselves warm. On the way back, my friend spun off the road when attempting to negotiate a bend. Looks like the negotiations went out of hand. Hehe till then.

Perception in Life

2008-01-27T13:10:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure about my friends or people around me, but as far as I can remember, I was always about the money. To be more precise, I'm a materialistic and money is my main objective in life. One could say it is poilitically incorrect, but money is prevalent in almost everything in all aspects, including a relationship. Being brought up in a metropolitian city of Kuala Lumpur (KL), the society evaluates a person's status by the value of your assets. From primary school I was surrounded by poiliticians, the group of people where they could obscenely drive around with Ferraris, wearing Gucci Prada bla bla bla and so on. While I didn't understand much of all this materialism, I was subconsciously influenced by all these people. Even in Australia, again I was surrounded by the rich and powerful furthermore cementing my love of materialism, money and power.

I have to say that my parents are of middle class. My family lived comfortably and could afford luxury items now and then. But for me it wasn't enough. I remember constantly bugging my dad for the latest handphone, laptops, shoes, clothings and even car. Looking back, I thank god that my parents weren't obscenely rich as I would be truly and thoroughly a spoilt brat by now. Even then, my parents gave me anything to their financial capability. I then demand more and more and more as there is never an end to material posessions. I remember the first major thing I got was my Nokia 8250. I was so obsessed by it that I saved my own money somehow and paid RM 850 for it. Since my dad was against me getting a new phone, I kept it out of sight from my dad for a good few months before realizing since when my son's phone is goldish in color? It didn't end just there, I got many other stuff especially when my sisters were in the US and I was back in Malaysia. I can imagine how much my sisters dread to come back as I would give them a long list of items to buy and bring back ranging from hard drives to sunglasses. Being my lovely sisters, I would always say that I would pay them back but in the end they always give it to me ehehehehehe! As time goes on the more I got what I wanted, but I realized one thing; the happiness of getting that handphone or the sunglasses is only shortlived. Hell, I know use a lousier phone right now compared to 3 or 4 years ago. Thinking back, it was a good thing after all that my beloved family gave me everything I wanted, as I now realize that these material posession are just that, materials. I still have my occasional wants like a HDTV now but I'm not as desperate as how I bought my Nokia 8250 last time. I realized in life there's just more to material posessions.

In a capatalist economy we're caught up with the rat race of earning money, isolating people in the process. It comes to a point where everyone is backstabbing each other in order to get ahead. In a way I like the idea of communism, and no I'm not some radical Russian or Chinese communists. It's just that the idea of doing something for the community is appealing. Instead of focusing upon yourself, the economy focuses upon the community as a whole and also helping people along the way.

Before I could understand this complicated idealogy, my dad used to tell me that the most self satisfactory thing is to help other people. This means that you really help people because you are concern for the person, not because you're expecting back a favor. I used to think that my dad is crazy saying that, but as I grow older, his statement makes more sense now.

Getting into the exercise mode.....again!

2008-01-25T12:41:00.000-08:00

On Wednesday, I finally started to do some weight liftings for the sake of getting fit. When you're family gasps in horror saying how fat you are, there is some psychological damage that has been inflicted upon me. In my attempt to recover from it, I then tried working out.

As it has been almost 2 years since I last lifted weights, I woke up with severely sore biceps, triceps and pecks muscles. This is even after I'd force-fed myself with heaps of protein shake. Haih, me and my other friend who we both are sworn together to work out every Monday, Wednesday and Friday also complained of sore muscles. As it is Friday, we shall subject ourselves to torture and pain again. This time would be on my shoulders, back and abs.

Besides that, I should be having a strict low to no-fat diet soon. Gulping down four double cheeseburgers courtesy of FatDonalds is not helping me losing weight. I guess one of these days I would do a post on how to work out and eat out properly so that aspiring people who are reading would have an idea of where and how to start. That post would also serve as a reminder for me to keep to my schedule. Ok, till then, wish me luck and love you all!

Hypocrisy

2008-01-22T00:11:00.000-08:00

With all the experiences and obervations gathered in regards of people's behavior, I realize one thing that is common in all of us; we all are fucking hypocrites. That's right people, and you all can go condemn me and all this shit but if you do so, then you're a hypocrite. Get it hypocrites? See that made me a hypocrite since I'm calling you a hypocrite. Ok, I shall stop confusing you poor people.

Before I delve further upon this issue, the definition of hypocrisy is the act of condemning another person, where the stated basis for the criticism is the breach of a rule which also applies to the critic and of which the critic is in breach to a similar or greater extent. The thing is that we all love to impose our own judgement upon other people, whether it is expressed or not. I love it when people come telling me all about their glorious moral principles in life bla bla bla and then a few months down the road, went against their principles. People are always trying to say how bad it is to steal or to cheat but you know what? No matter how noble you supposedly are, there will come a time in which in the same situation we'll may do the same thing or even worse.

This is why I never have principles in life and all those bullshit. I used to have one, and that I would do to others what I want others to do to me. Haha, I think I failed miserably in that. I also try my best not to condemn other people, which for you people know me very well is an impossible task to do. Bitching is like my life man, this is why I can get along well with girls, cause I'm such a bitch ahaha.

However, my golden bitching days are now behind me, or at least I try hard to. A few years ago I am the epitome of hypocrisy, saying that how could this person A do this and person B be such a bitch bla bla bla. Then the tables has been turned, and I'm the one who is being judged and at the receiving end of the bitching. This is where I learnt my lesson and that in life, there's no defining wrong or right. Robbing is a crime, but what if you learnt that the robber is stealing food for his kid who has not eaten for days? You can condemn a person who has cheated in a relationship, but maybe he has his side of story to tell as well. I used to pass judgements ever so often and at most times the situation is much different than I thought. It's not to say that I would never pass judgements upon anyone, just that I'll try my best to be neutral and not come into conclusions quickly before knowing what's really going on. And believe me, it's not that easy.

Ultra Broke

2008-01-20T16:15:00.000-08:00

Finally my car come back from the work shop. Right now my car should be almost as good as new and at the same time I'm ultra broke. Granted most of these parts are wear and tear, but still the maintenance of a car is seriously ultra expensive. Here are the breakdown of the items that I'd done on the car so far in chronological order;

New pair of front rotors and brake pads = $100

New Battery = $60

New set of tires = $265

New inner tie rods = $40

New pair of front shocks = $140

New spark plugs = $15

Labor costs = $270

So in total I've spent almost a thousand dollars on the car. Well it would be over a thousand dollars if you include the maintenance and miscellaneous items that has been done on the car. Sigh, oh I forgot, I would be doing alignment tomorrow that would cost be at least $70. Sigh, labor costs here are so freaking expensive.

Sicko

2008-01-19T22:13:00.000-08:00

No I'm not a sicko person or something but rather it's a movie made by Michael Moore. For those people who aren't familiar to that name, Michael Moore is the same director who made Fahrenheit 9/11, a controversial film about the conspiracies leading to the 9/11 incident. I love Michael Moore's way of insulting something. He makes it so sacarstic in such a cynical way; he's just so cynically sacarstic.

About the movie Sicko, it talks about the medical care facilities that is available in the US. Being the 'best' country in the world, one could safely assume that the US has the best medical care facilities in the world, not to mention the biggest, the most, the fattest etc etc. What they did not mention that medical care costs is the most expensive in the world as well. As noted a simple asthma pump would cost you a freaking 120 USD.

Michael Moore proceeds to travel to european countries, where he realize that the medical facilities that is provided in the UK and France are virtually free. Of course those medical facilities is paid via your taxes, but since when you don't need to pay tax in the US? Hell, even the British hospitals provide reimbursements for tranportation to and from the hospital! In France, they have house doctors that actually come to your house in case of any medical emergencies. How freaking good is that? In US, they charge you literally by the meter for the nurse to walk to guide you through the hospital. Ok I am exaggerating here, but I think many people would agree to the fact that Americans are seriously being ripped off.

When I first came to US, I love bashing how stupid Americans can be. I then realize that they're not stupid but rather they're ignorant. Almost two years living in America I realize further that they are ignorant because the government created a system that subconsciously make them into ignorant robots. I used to despise them and say they're bloody redneck racists. Now instead I pity the Americans. Somehow rather the situation in US is almost the same in Malaysia. We are being propagandized into believing that our world is a perfect, harmonious place. We have a close-minded thinking that we're so perfect and what not, till we fail to even rationalize something which is so obvious. And governments purposely do that so that we won't 'wake' from our zombic state and realize 'Hei, our country is pretty fucked up, we should do something about it.' This is why I never read Malaysian newspapers that are nothing but about Barisan National being the best when actually they're so corrupted. I used to think that only happens in my native country, but I realize even in the US it is the same thing, just that the Americans are more discreet and use distraction tactics.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is that we should be able to rationalize and analyze 'reputable' information given to us. Perhaps being a leftie makes me biased towards leftie people like Michael Moore, whom when seen on television looks like a hippie from the 70s. However, I really recommend Americans and people who live in America, especially my sisters to watch the movie and see what you think. Now somehow I wish that I continued studying in Australia and obtain a PR there. Yes, you all may now shoot me for not staying back in Australia instead.

Names

2008-01-19T06:43:00.000-08:00

Erm, I received quite a few names for my nameless soft toys. Erm hahaha some of them were quite funny in my opinion. But here are all the names I got so far

Mushrooom (??!!)
Cheezo
Bruzzie
Fluffy Bunny (erm it's a bear or a dog, not a rabbit)
Sir Edward Scissor Claws (Wah, my bear is not a murderer)
Lady Serena Blair Woodsen (Haha a tribute to Gossip Girl)

So which names I chosed? Well, I decided to name my doggie Bruzzie Dan Ferrio. Yes I added the last two names and I felt it was quite appropriate for the dog. As for the teddy bear, I wanted her name to be more sophisticated but didn't know where to get it. As I was watching Gossip Girl I decided to combine the two main character's name and come out with Ms. Serena Blair Woodsen. I decided to leave out the Lady part cause it sounded too old. So anywayz, thanks for everyone helping me out. Hehehe love ya all.

Puhlease name me.....

2008-01-17T13:25:00.000-08:00

After that long ass post of pornography, I've decided to create a short post with pictures. I have three soft toys at the moment and currently two of them are not named. I didn't know you have to name them until one of my friends (who is a gal) says that I should give them a name cause it's so poor thing. Actually my eldest sister whom actually gave me all the three soft toys also ask me to name them. Anywayz, this is the first one

This is a Herrington Teddy Bear Cheesecake Factory Limited Edition teddy bear. Yes I know it's a freaking long name and yes it has my glasses. All my soft toys love posing with my glasses or sunnies, like the owner :P. Anywayz, I think this bear is kinda expensive as it comes with all the certificate of authenticity and so on. Wondering of selling it on ebay one day for a million dollars hahaha! Just don't tell the teddy bear, he might fuss.

Teddy bear out of the bag.

This is the only one who is named, and that is Roxy. This dog has been with me for about 5 years now I think. In case you guys don't know it's a Hush Puppy dog. Actually I prefer him to wear the glasses cause without it, he has this sad pitiful look, as though asking anyone to take him away from the abusive owner. Fortunately for the dog, I left him in Malaysia and now owns my room.
You can see how long ago this picture was taken. I was still using that ancient Nokia phone when I was studying in Australia.
This is my doggie dog, and it's a Marks & Spencer doggie. If you want to compare the ages of my three soft toys, this doggie is the oldest them all. This used to be my sister's dog when she was still studying in UK. Come to think of it, I think it's around 10 years old already. She gave it to me while I was in California cause I kinda like it.

This is my sister's pooh bear all blinged up. Not mine but just that the bear is such a poser wearing my ipod and sunnies while holding my dad's car keys on it's right hand. Wahahaha
So please people, help me name my doggie dog and the Cheesecake teddy bear. Give me as many suggestions as you can. Thank you very much and love you all.

My Last Term's Research Paper

2008-01-15T23:29:00.000-08:00

I took women's studies last semester as part of my general studies. As usual I did last minute work and I have to do a 10 page research paper on anything related to women's studies. I was surprised that i got 490/500 for this paper as I completed this paper within 3 days. I don't expect anyone to read the whole thing though, but if you do, please feel free to comment and tell me what you think about it. So take a deep breath and hope you would like it.

Pornography censorship; why it should not be censored
Perhaps censorship and pornography are the two most controversial topics in their own ways. Pornography has been around ever since the early days of human existence. Perhaps the most famous documented pornography would have to come from Karma Sutra. Originated from India, Karma Sutra is a manual of sexual experience addressing not only the practicalities of sexuality, but also the courtesies, manner of living and how to successfully relate with a sexual partner in a deeply meaningful manner. Before delving into the topic further, one would ask what pornography is. The word pornography derives from the Greek description of prostitutes. However, the original meaning of the term is irrelevant to its current meaning, as pornography has pretty much evolved since then. The definition of pornography would be any material that is used to create sexual arousal and excitement. Pornography can be in many forms and genres. Pornography can be found in books, videos, telephone-sex, internet, radio and cable television. Then there is the type of pornography that might suit one’s taste. These include but not limited to oral, anal, bi-sexual, lesbian, gay and straight porn. The most common form of pornography would be video pornography.

Censorship on the other hand is the removal of information from the public by a controlling group or body. Typically censorship is done by the government, media or religious groups, although other types of censorship exists. Censorship has been around since the start of human civilizations. In ancient societies such as Israel or China, censorship was considered as a legitimate instrument for regulating the country as a whole. The first censorship law was introduced in 300AD. The word ‘censor’ can be traced back to the office of censor in Rome in 443BC. To the Greek communities, good governance means shaping the character of the people. Hence censorship is used to block out information the Roman government thinks that might affect the development of the ideal character of the people. Even until recent times, the USSR was responsible for the longest lasting and most extensive censorship of the 20th century. Up till today, North Korea practices strict censorship and their citizens are banned from using the internet or to watch the television. Perhaps censorship was a feasible thing to do in the early days of civilization as normal citizens are not as educated and aware of things in general. However in the information age, censorship is not an easy thing to do. Information is easily available on the internet, making it accessible to almost anyone who could operate a computer and impossible to censor information. This includes pornography as well. In my opinion, pornography should not be censored but instead pornography should be regulated.

It is easy to blame pornography for its role of sexual harassment, molestation charges, rape and many other sexual offences. There is no denial that pornography may result in someone to commit a sexual offence. However, when we sit down in our living room and switch on the television, the things we hear and watch from the television plays a bigger role in influencing the people. In the movie Dreamworlds II by Sut Jhally, it talks about how images that it shown on television, especially MTV depicts images that are awfully similar to pornographic scenes. MTV is created in 1981 to broadcast music videos and provide music companies a place to advertise their music. Since then, they have become so popular it has become a household channel for viewers. Dreamworlds II elaborates further how MTV portrays women in only one aspect, that women are ravenous creatures that only desire sex. Degradation of women is done via objectification, where only certain body parts of a women body is shown. Typically body parts that are often subject to objectification are women’s legs, buttocks and busts. The majority of the music videos shown on MTV often have this elements present; lots of scantily clad women acting and posing suggestively. Ultimately, viewers watching those images give them an inaccurate implication of the women’s character. Television is not only responsible for it is one aspect view of women, but is also responsible for violent scenes and also depictions of drug abuse. While pornography is meant for adults only, television is catered to the mass audience across all ages. In an American household, the television is an integral part of spending quality time with the family, spending an average of four hours a day. The most time a person would watch pornography would be an hour a day. This means the amount of television exposure to the amount of pornography is to the ratio of 4:1. If there is any censoring needed, it should be the television, which I believe is largely unregulated compared to the porn industry.

Then there is the issue about sex. It is a social taboo to most people talking about sex. Parents are ashamed to talk to their children about safe sex and that they cover it up by describing it as the birds and the bees. People’s faces cringe and show expressions of disgust if any discussions regarding about sexuality is mentioned openly. Perhaps sex being a taboo began in the middle ages. During that time, priest could marry and have children. However, as the priests died, any land he held went to the widow and because of that, the church began to lose lots of land and money that they felt it belongs to the church. To solve the problem, they passed a law that states a priest could not marry and current priests who were married were to be relieved of their roles in immediate affect. Since then the idea of sex is ‘wrong’ was born. Although America is not a Christian nation, the country is greatly influenced by Christianity and about 80% of Americans are Christians. It is not surprising then that America is largely shy and rather avoid the topic about sexuality. Essentially pornography is glorifying sexual acts in the name of sexual excitement. As though sex is not enough to ignite controversy, pornography would surely ignite more than just controversy, making pornography more than just a taboo. It is a sinful, wrong, inappropriate, leads to rape, molestation, adultery etc.

‘Pornography is used in rape – to plan it, to execute it, to choreograph it, to engender the excitement to commit the act.’ This is a direct quote from Andrea Dworkin, a renowned feminist. The statement above is obvious that Dworkin is against any forms of pornography. It is understandable that she take an extreme dislike to pornography, regards men as ravenous sex crazed creatures and that pornography ignites their appetite to rape. At an early age of nine, she was sexually abused in a cinema. At the age of eighteen, she was arrested for an anti-Vietnam protest, she was sent to prison. Subsequently, she was sexually assaulted by the prison doctors. It was reported that Dworkin bled for fifteen days and a report from another doctor said that had never seen a uterus so bruised and a vagina so ripped. Later in life she married a Dutch political radical, which turn out to be a huge mistake as he abused her repeatedly, often hitting her till she was unconscious. This caused her to leave him and subsequently come back to the US. This marks the beginning of her dedication to feminism, where her work focuses mostly upon the abolishment of porn. In her book Woman Hating, she talks about the Story of O, an erotic novel about a woman who is into female submission. O is always subjected to human torturing and sexual abuse. Often she is being blindfolded, chained, whipped, made to wear a mask and also perform sexual favors like oral, vaginal and anal intercourse. The surprising thing about this story is that O consents to everything that is done to her. The Story of O is an epitome of the woman degradation. The name itself, O, signifies zero, emptiness, soulless. Her worthiness is only defined by the hole between her legs. Her thoughts, her character, her feelings are all non-existent, stripping her of her worthiness as a whole by objectifying her. In one part of the story she is even branded with Sir Stephen’s mark, who owns her. Even worse is that rings with his insignia is inserted into her vagina. The level of degradation in Story of O is extreme and it is no wonder stories like this would enrage women, as the story is very much akin to sexual assault.

Linda Susan Boreman, or better known as Linda Lovelace, is another anti-pornography advocate. Boreman in her early years is nicknamed “Miss Holy Holy” as she kept an arms distance from her dates. It is surprising then that she lost her virginity at 19 and had given birth to a son out-of-wedlock when she was 20 years old. Having strict Catholic parents, she was tricked by her mother to give up her son, saying that she would be able to meet with him again once she is able to take care of him. A year later she moved back to New York, where she had a bad car accident. Subsequently she returns yet again to Florida to recover. While relaxing at the poolside with her girlfriend, a bar owner and part-time pimp Chuck Traynor spotted her and offered both of them a joyride in his Jaguar. Soon Boreman fell in love with Traynor and within weeks she moved in with Traynor. Later both of them moved to New York, eventually gotten married and that’s when her pornography career started. In 1972, she starred in the adult film Deep Throat, arguably the most successful adult film ever in terms of revenue income. Then in 1980, she released her 3rd autobiography book titled Ordeal. In this book she reveals that she was being forced into pornography by her husband Traynor. In her book she talks about how Traynor would abuse her. When she threatened to leave him, he got more aggressive, making her literally a prisoner. Boreman was never out of Traynor’s sight, even when using the toilet Traynor would peep through a hole in the door. Other extreme things include sleeping on top of Boreman at night, tapping into her phone calls and also threatened her at gun point to shoot her if Boreman attempts to disobey his orders. According to Boreman, her bruises on her legs can be seen in Deep Throat.

While admiration is given to people who is outspoken in their beliefs, being too passionate in it might cause one person to be illusional and sidetracked. If anyone were to analyze Andrea Dworkin’s life, many would agree with this statement. While pornography could lead to sexual abuse, Dworkin asserts that pornography promotes many other forms of negative elements including turning women into objects and commodities, women violence and exploitation of children. Other outrageous statements about pornography includes igniting racism by promoting racial degradation as sexy, romanticizing concentration camp, the Nazi and the slaveholder, exploits demeaning racial stereotypes to promote sexual arousal and to ignite racist sexual obsessions.. Pornography also forbids self-determination to women and to children thus annihilating women’s chance for freedom. With so many negative issues linked to pornography, one would wonder the credibility of the connection between certain issues with pornography. She might as well add that pornography promotes terrorism, as it uses elements of violence empowering women, terrorizing them. One can feel that the attack on pornography is more of a personal issue rather than a feminist issue. It is also very hypocritical of her that while she claims pornography induces violence upon women, while she says things like “I want to see a man beaten to a bloody pulp with a high-heel shoved in his mouth, like an apple in the mouth of a pig”. She stereotypes men according to her experiences with men and blames the pornography industry for making men ‘jerks’. The phrase ‘You believe what you choose to believe’ is suited for Dworkin’s stance against pornography. Dworkin took Boreman’s experience and use it as a reason why pornography should be censored and banned. As Boreman’s experience with the porn industry was horrid and traumatizing, Dworkin conveniently assumes that all women in the porn industry are feeling the same as Boreman. Boreman on the other hand, is enjoying the publicity that she is receiving. There are inconsistencies about her claim that she is a victim of pornography. In the first two autobiographies, Inside Linda Lovelace and The Intimate Diary of Linda Lovelace, she talks about pornography and her sexual experience. She talks about her day to day life experience in the porn industry. In her third autobiography Ordeal, the story was told in a different tone, talking about her past sexual abuse and how she was tortured and beaten up by her husband. This was contrary to the first two books that she has written, possibly implying remorse over what she has done. During her teenage years the Vietnam War protests was at its peak. Students march in protest and rebellion has a symbolic meaning. To rebel was a sign of protesting against Vietnam War and a cool thing to do. As with almost every teenager, they rebel against their parents and with the Vietnam War protests in full swing there was never more a perfect time to rebel. Coming from a strict Catholic family where celibacy is important and virginity is sacred, she did the exact opposite by impregnating herself as a sign of rebellion. Things got out of hand when her mother tricked her into giving away her baby, where she eventually ran away with Traynor. From there she was tricked into pornography, thinking she would make a lot of money out of it. In the end, Traynor took all the money and Boreman found herself with nothing. In anger she then divorced Traynor and straight away moved in with her producer and choreographer, David Winters. It is interesting to note that she was able to divorce Traynor when she described how difficult it was to leave Traynor. In my opinion, Boreman regretted going into the porn industry and she can’t escape her past as much as she tried to. She tried starting acting in nightclubs and got hired by Aladdin Casino to play in My Daughter’s Rated X. However the show closed after a week as audiences were disappointed to see that she didn’t get naked. She then turns to Andrea Dworkin for help, and Dworkin took advantage of the situation by making Boreman the feminist poster child for demeaning effects on pornography. Throughout the 80s, she was in demand as a professional witness for anti-obscenity movements. There she acts out like a typical rape victim, looking terrified, traumatized and sobs uncontrollably when recalling her ‘ordeal’. Following her famous outcry about the porn industry, pornographer and writer Hart Williams coined the term ‘Linda Syndrome’ to refer to women who left pornography and attempts to seek acceptance from the ‘overground’ society by disassociating herself and to play victim of the porn industry.

It is people like Andrea Dworkin that undermines the work of porn actress. Indirectly, Dworkin is insulting the women in the porn industry. Women in the porn industry are human beings too. They have feelings; they have the brains and are creative in their own way. By saying pornography objectifies women, degrading female and creativity, it means that porn actresses are nothing more than a sex machine where their intelligence is limited to just sucking, licking, frolicking and fucking. So for those who choose to become a porn actress and are happy to be in the porn industry, Dworkin is implying those women who fall in that category are basically a worthless slut who is nothing more than a shell of their body. Well for Nina Hartley, she graduated magna cum laude in nursing. A lot of college graduates are into the porn industry as well. I guess by Dworkin’s definition, a woman who has a PhD, an artist or/and immensely contented would be worthless overnight if she decides to be in the porn industry. Furthermore, saying how pornography forbids self-determination thus annihilating women’s chance for freedom is an absolute contradiction to the meaning of freedom to choose. If I were a woman, I should have the freedom of venturing into porn. Whatever reason it might be, women should have the freedom of choice, and censoring porn would mean limiting choices for women.

Feminists, whether it is Cellestine Ware, Andrea Dworkin, Linda Boreman, Betty Dodson etc all has brought women to what they are today. One can safely say most of the perception of female inferiority is almost non-existent. Women are allowed to express themselves more openly and with more assertion than ever before. To me pornography itself is just a women’s expression of sexuality. However, like television and internet, pornography is getting more and more corrupted to a point it loses its true meaning. Television is inundated with advertisements that results in over consumerism especially in the United States. The internet is full of spams and e-mail scams are rampant. Pornography is now full of immature porn actresses who want to make a quick buck by subjecting herself to degrading sexual acts. Most of them regret their actions and then blame the porn industry for humiliating them. There are porn actresses like Nina Hartley that loves pornography and lives by it. Pornography is like a career. One has to go into a career that they enjoy working with and does not go against your conscience.

Shall pornography is being censored, more complications would occur, making the situation worse than before. Censoring pornography is not as simple as just getting rid of it. One has to analyze the effect of censoring pornography from a social, economic and political perspective. The law of supply and demand is simple; as long as there is demand, there will always be supply. Censoring pornography would only limit the supply, and people would have other ways of getting pornography if they want to. The issue of pornography is complicated and is not easily solved simply by imposing a censorship on it. A moderate approach must be taken to solve the problem, and that is to regulate, monitor and enforce pornography. To avoid Linda Syndrome, porn actresses must sign a document saying that she is willingly participating in the porn industry and that she is fully aware of the consequences and is personally responsible for all of her own actions. Regulations should be reviewed from time to time, eradicating any loopholes to avoid porn actresses being exploited. Child pornography, which is defined as any pornography with actresses under the age of eighteen is strictly prohibited in any form and that is punishable under the federal law. Proper steps must be taken to ensure history does not repeat itself. The Volstead Act, also called the National Prohibition Act was passed on January 16 1920. Volstead Act prohibits the manufacture, sale or transportation of intoxicating liquor in the United States. The effects of the Volstead Act were largely unanticipated. Legitimate liquor business became illegal overnight, and most of the breweries were taken over by the criminal gangs. Many confrontations took place during the period between 1920 to 1933. Confrontations often result in mass murdering, and the gangs that reach to the top became filthy rich.
Enforcement was difficult to uphold as the gangs were so rich that they bribe the enforcement officers. Those that dare to go against them were murdered instantly. The gangs had such strong influence to the point they control the politicians, either with money or by force. With alcohol gaining social acceptance and the violence and intimidation inflicted by the criminal gangs, public support of the Volstead act started waning. By 1933, public opposition towards the Volstead Act has become overwhelming that the congress decided to lift the act, making alcohol legal again. The lesson learnt from this is simple, censoring would not solve the problem, and the problem is only being swept under the rug. The problem is still there, and eventually someone would have to pick up the rug, dust it thoroughly and get rid of the dust once and for all.

Guide to Courting Girls

2008-01-15T17:41:00.000-08:00

Well, I think almost all of my readers here are of the female species, I guess this are the tricks that I would play to 'trap' the girl. Ahaha, as for guys, I guess it might be useful for you as long as the opposite sex doesn't know about your strategy.

Anywayz, courting girls has been around since the existence of human beings. It's like an instinct for men to fall for a woman. Usually guys would try to act macho or cool in front of the girls in an attempt to impress them. However, as women are getting smarter and more demanding (don't kill me ladies), we men have to be wiser and to play the game so to speak. There are many strategies that you can employ upon winning the girl over. Here are some the strategies.

Underdog Strategy: This strategy involves the men making themselves vulnerable, heart-broken or being a loser. The key is that the men should make the women sympathize them. For example, I could say how I was hurt by my previous relationship cause she went back to the ex-bf bla bla bla (it's true by the way). And then the women would feel something like "aww you're so poor thing. Maybe I should try to help you, or fix you....." As time goes on, the women would slowly fall for the guy. You might ask does this work? Trust me, I've seen this thing first hand and it does work. Of course this strategy best works on kind-hearted women with a sympathetic heart.

Jerk Strategy: By using this strategy, you must act like a freaking jerk towards the target (the women). The key feelings that you're trying to invoke is that the target would feel that you are such an asshole you. Once you feel that she truly and deeply hate you, you gradually change. Actually you can show that you're vulnerable or that you actually do have a kinder side of you. You could hint to her that you've changed since you know her bla bla bla. That way, the women would feel that she has made a big impact to you and might fall for you. I've never seen this work in real life, but I guess it kinda work.

Mysterious Strategy: Using this strategy involves the men trying not to be too sociable. This works only when the women always come to try and talk to the men. In response, he would give one word answers, act suspiciously towards her, invoking a sense of mystery in which the women would be curious to know more. This works best on nosy women, as she would be so busybody to want to know what's up with that mysterious man. As time goes on, you would indirectly let out some of your personal information. The women would get more and more excited and soon would be attracted to the guy.

Money Strategy: This is self-explanatory, and it's the easiest way to get the women if you're rich. It involves lavish dinners, extravagant gifts, and the men would often drive a flashy car. This works on almost every women especially the gold diggers. I've tried this method before and yes it works. Downside however was that after she realize I'm not as rich as I thought, she then dumped me. Ahahaha

So there you go, all the fishy strategies that we men use. Now that you gals know how does men prey on you all, you better be careful of what we do. Now I need to figure out what strategy should I use upon that crush of mine. Judging by what she does, I think the underdog strategy would work. Ehehehe, till then, love you all

The Return of The Ghost?

2008-01-14T00:45:00.000-08:00

I have to say class have been quite stressful so far. Actually, it's not too bad but it's just that I have this one class that is ultra stressful and pressurize us by giving a test and handing in an assignment for every class. His excuse for doing so was that he wants us to get the feel of the real world. I'm like OMG, if the real world is like that I might as well shoot myself.

Ok I'm deviating to the main topic here. The point is while I was taking a rest from all the stressful work that has been bestowed upon me, one of my friends called me up. It has been months since I'd any contact with her and the last time I manage to really talk to her was back in late September or early October. Since then she has graduated and moved to Oregon looking for her job. While I was talking to her, she abruptly asked me "Eh, are you over Elsie already-ar?". I replied "erm, should be-qua?"

The conversation continues on, and after we finished talking the thought of whether I'm over Elsie lingered in my mind. I'm still having doubts of whether I'm really over her or not. As now I have moved to a new place, maybe the absence of sight makes me able to not remember her at all. I was thinking maybe I'm not over her because I'm lonely and in need of a partner. Seriously, there is so many possibilities and I'm not sure if I'm either too lonely or had the out of sight, out of mind mentality.

I guess the only way to truly put the past behind me is to bury the hatchet once and for all. Maybe I should talk to her as a normal friend and see if I felt anything. Another thing would be to see if I could bear to see her with her new boyfriend holding hands, making out etc. Ah I'm not sure what to do also. However, maybe it's just all about me thinking too much, and that I doubt myself too much as well.

I think from now on I would have more faith in myself. I shall now officially tell myself that it's really over between Elsie and I. Furthermore, I even have a new crush now which I would be seeing her in a few hours time. Like my sister said "In life you'll realize that certain people, especially partners and friends are replaceable." I guess it's time to get rid of the ghost and to replace her.

A Change In Our Life

2008-01-11T18:47:00.000-08:00

While there's a sweet innocent-looking girl with a great smile in Religion 1000 class, I am taking a boring Physics 1000 class as well. The class is really big and it's more of an auditorium as it can seat 100+ people. Unlike Religion 1000 class, there's no hot chick to perv at thus it's a very boring class. Again the reason why I'm taking Physics 1000 class is to fulfill my general requirement.
So it was the usual boring stuff and I was yawning away until the lecturer said something in class. "An object have resistances to changes to their motion. Objects at rest remain at rest while objects in motion remain in motion". This got me thinking, aren't we all resistant to changes???
I am the perfect example that is resistant to changes. Believe it or not, just before going to California I didn't feel like going there cause I was used to my new place. Even though I know California is like a billion times better than Kalamazoo, at that point I prefer to stay in Kalamazoo cause I wasn't in the mood for the change in my environment. I eat McDonalds almost everyday ordering the same thing. I'm the epitome of resisting changes. It is a natural occuring that everything is resistant to changes.
So now comes the subequent question, why then our lifes are ever-changing? I hate to know the fact that some things wouldn't last forever. People like stay things as it is. But yet our world is ever-changing. New technologies come in everyday. New cars, buildings, products etc etc.
Maybe I got this wrong, people are always seeking changes in life. My friend is seeking to change his car. He changes car more often than I change my clothings. People seeking different partners. I myself want a total change in my own lifestyle. Hell, actually everyone wants a change in life. But I've always wonder, as we seek changes in life, it is not a natural phenomenom; it is against the laws of nature.
Somehow we're changing too much to the point that we don't sit down and enjoy the moment we're in. As it is against the laws of nature, we feel uneasy, awkward, agitated, unatural. We're living in an artifical state of mind, as we all are only focusing in changes, and indirectly this contribute to the world of upheaval today. Rampant pollutions, outbreak of contagious and ever more dangerous diseases like ebola and AIDS are the symptons that the earth is resisting change.
I'm not sure if you all understand what I'm trying to explain. In short, the law of nature resists changes. And as human strive for changes, the law of nature would resist it through means of trying to get rid of the symptons of change, which in this case is we human beings ourselves.

A Crush

2008-01-11T16:44:00.000-08:00

For those two friends that I told them, I have a crush on this girl. It's kinda stupid actually and is simliar to those silly infactuation that would be over as soon as you know it. To give a brief idea of how I found her, I was taking Religion 1000 class when I first saw her. Yes I know I'm no fan of religions but I took this class because it's supposedly easy to pass.
The first thing that I notice was the way her hair was tied up. You know those that tie into a bun or something like. And then there was the glasses, and yes I admit I have a thing for girls with glasses, don't ask me why. So then that's how she caught my attention. To be honest, Religion 1000 has alot of pretty girls in that class. There's another girl that has crystal blue eyes. Just staring into her sky blue eyes makes you all mesmerized to a point that it can hypnotize you. But anywayz, this lady was the one that most caught my attention.
A little bit of sleuthing around and cyber-stalking and I found out that she is a co-president in this social fraternity. My dear friend suggested that I should join that fraternity in an attempt to get closer to her. However like most of the other crushes that I have, I wouldn't really do anything except I know I have the chance. Yes I lose interest as quick as I gain interest in a person.
I guess it's quite ironic that I have been teasing my friend about her dating a jewish guy. Not that I hate them, it's just quite funny so I just kept on teasing her about it like a million times. Now the tables has been turned, and the girl that I fell for is most likely a jew, judging from her last name and the fact that she is not raised in a christian tradition family. Yes I know, now you all can laugh at me and that I deserve it. Just as I was losing interest, one day I was joking with my friend in class about some stuff and both of us was laughing. While I was laughing I turned the other way and we had eye contact for a while. I guess she thought I was smiling at her when actually I was still laughing, so she gave this sweetest smile I've ever seen. Ok I might exaggerate about the sweetest smile ever, but I nearly melt to the floor and my face is burning red. Oh well, yes I know I'm so naive and stuff like that, but knowing myself I wouldn't pursue any further and move on.

Back from San Diego, back to K-hole-mazoo

2008-01-08T19:07:00.000-08:00

I'm back in Kalamazoo after exactly three weeks in San Diego. I'm quite sure many of you would know my public display of disliking Kalamazoo. Actually I don't really dislike the place, it's just that there's nothing much to do here. Many people argue that it is a good thing so as to not have any distractions. However, I don't see a corelation to my improvement of results vs. the level of boringness in the university surroundings.
So it's the same old cycle over again, boring community thus nothing better else to do but to bitch around. I wanna get out of this place and go to Chicago more often but then petrol is too expensive. I have less subjects but then I have lots more things to do as I prepare myself to the harsher environment of the working world.
Surprisingly the weather has been quite warm. In fact at times the temperatures in Kalamazoo is higher than San Diego. Hmmm it is expected to go down in the next few days into freezing temperatures again however. Hopefully it would get warmer and warmer in late Feb or March.
There's nothing much else to say here however. I might not be blogging so often as I have a marketing class that is preparing us into the real world by pressurizing us with lots of assignments (every class one or two assignments) and to give on the spot presentations. Argh, I really hate presentations but I have no choice. Till then, love you all peeps *muax*

LV is nice......

2008-01-04T08:11:00.000-08:00

No, not Louis Vitton you brand conscious freaks, it's Las Vegas. Vegas was not too bad, not too good. In other words, Vegas is ok. I remember the last time I went there I was so awed by all the casinos and stuff like that but second time around I guess the excitement is gone as you know what is expected. Furthermore, I find the place now to be a bit dodgy and stuff. Driving from San Diego to Las Vegas was like around 4 to 5 hours. Coming back, I was driving around 85-90 mph so it was much faster.

This is the famous musical fountain in front of Bellagio hotel. The fountain was 'singing' to the tune of 'Time To Say Goodbye' by some guy and girl. If you see this for the first time you would really find it touching and romantic. Even seeing it second time around it still gives me the chills cause it was quite nice, but mostly cause it was quite cold in Vegas at night.

Oh did I tell you I ate lunch at Paris? Oh no it's lunch at Paris, Las Vegas. Hahaha, I'm sure people who has went to Las Vegas would know all the hotels and casinos around there.

Hanging around in Vegas can turn out to be a bad thing for you, especially when you're a rich bastard. This car got bricked, which means that its tires were stolen and I'm not sure if the owner knows about it or not. Whatever it is, they are going to have a hard time looking for tires to get back to California. I guess you could strick jackpots not only in casinos. One set of these brand new shoes would cost at least around 3 to 4 thousand dollars.
Ok that's all I have to say in Vegas. I have tons of pictures but then showing it all to you would be a hassle and wouldn't give you an incentive to go there. If you need a driver, you can always call me and you just need to buy me an air ticket to your place and I'll drive you there. Oh and there's only like 2 more days before going back to Chicago. Damn uni's starting again, but after this semester I would be set out in the cruel, cold working world. Sigh, I'm still searching for an American wife, anyone? Haha

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2008-01-01T00:25:00.000-08:00

Happy new year to all my beloved friends!!!!! May 2008 would be a meaningful and joyful year for all of you.
I didn't celebrate new years this time as compared to last year when i was stuck in Chicago in the cold on Navy Pier watching the fireworks. Instead I'm just sitting here on my sister's desk playing counter strike and talking to some of my close friends. Just after new year there was a bunch of fellows that ran around my sisters neighbourhood celebrating the new year. I didn't see them but i heard them celebrating. It was rather funny as I was stoning on the computer and then suddenly 'ting ting ting ting Happy New Year wooooo!!!!! ting ting ting ting'. I remember exactly 5 years ago I was watching fireworks on San Diego bay. I remember back then I was so uncertain about the year that is ahead of me. This year, I'm still uncertain about the year ahead of me, albeit it would be a whole different uncertainty.
In april i would be graduating and would be finally done with school. All those bloody years of education that made my parents a few million dollars poorer would finally come to an end and it's time for me to make all those money back not only for myself but to my parents. However, it's gonna be a rough beginning for me. I'd finally made a decision to do OPT for one year (OPT stands for optional practical training in which you're given like a one year working visa) and then see where it goes from there. Shall the boss of my company loves me and wants to sponsor me, then hallelujah i would get a proper H1 visa to work in the United States. If the boss hates me then I guess I would sabotage his computer with child porn and then return back to Malaysia.
I apologize to some of my friends who keep on asking me to come back to Malaysia, but given the complicated circumstances that I'm in, it is quite difficult for me to come back. Another thing is that I'm quite used to the lifestyle over here. Yes I may comdemn that US people are ignorant bastards that like to waste food and so on but I've become one of the US fat bastards! Haha! Furthermore, with the political upheaval in Malaysia, I rather be working with ignorant US bastards and know through hardwork I would get my reward than to work hard in Malaysia and let those Malay bastards step on my head and reap my reward with their smelly arms stretched out that I could smell their smelly armpits as they've never showered for a million years. Forgive me for my racism but I can tell you that's pretty true about the situation in Malaysia. Furthermore more of my friends are whizzing off to Australia as it is such a breeze to get PRs over there. Now where is my blonde American wife so that I could get my PR? hehe
On a more philosophical note, I read on PostSecret of a postcard written 'I feel that I don't belong anywhere, and I'm ok with it'. Somehow this phrase hits me. Even though I feel comfortable living in US, I'm still an outsider, a foreigner. In Malaysia, I feel at home, but I don't feel comfortable with the system, not just the political system but like how things are done in Malaysia. Furthermore, coming to California is great as I could spend time with my family, but certain events has left me quite dissappointed and they have different priorities in life. This made me feel that I don't belong anywhere. Sure I know I have great friends and a loving family, but things just ain't the same, and the feeling of belongness with them is gone. It's not that I'm happy with it, it's just that I've accepted things the way they are and just make the best out of the situation.
Ok then, I just wanna wish you all Happy New Year again to you all. Have a great year ahead. Love you all and best of luck

Approaching The New Year

2007-12-27T15:19:00.000-08:00

As new year comes, I always get philosophic about the year that is going to become a part of history. This year is no exception as I ponder and ponder about everything that has happened for this year. For starters, thie year would be the year that I spend my whole full year in US. Much has changed since Jan 1st till now. There is some things that I wish I could change albeit I never regret my decisions. I just bear the consequences and hopefully I would learn from it.
This is the first time in 2 over years that I could have my whole family here. Of course there are additions to the 'family' that includes my sister's husband Chris and her daughter Zoey. There is also an unofficial addition of Richard, my sister's boyfriend. Haha it's only official when they're married I guess. *hint*hint* ;P
I guess the cliche thing to do now is to do a new years resolution, follow it religiously for the first week of new year and then screw it and forget about it. However, my new years resolution is not to make any new years resolution. Haha that's an oxymoron for you. The thing is that new year's resolutions which generally are meant to be for the better are always not achieved cause either they're too ambitious or too vague. In the end most resolutioners would achieve nothing, get dissappointed, get wasted and then declare their resolution with a three quarter empty bottle of whiskey on the other hand. All I'm trying to say that instead of making glorified and big resolutions, we should be aim small and have specific series of resolutions. For example maybe by march I should apply at least 10 jobs and to have at least 3 interviews, by graduation I have at least 2 job offers that is related to automobile marketing in California and to buy my realistic Honda Fit at the end of the year. A vague resolution would be to have a good paying job and to work towards it. An ambitious one would be to be a VP of an automobile marketing and have my seven cars that i could drive every other day. Resolutions can be done any time of the year. Hell i can even make a resolution right now instead of the new year.
So what am I gonna do on New Years eve? Ideally I just want to spent some time alone on the beach side, sipping champagne and watch the sun set while telling myself what a year 2007 has been. If there is one word that sums up year 2007, it would be Unexpected.

Merry Christmas

2007-12-24T12:16:00.000-08:00

Well, my family and I celebrated Christmas over at Cindy's place last night. We had some dessert, champagne, wine etc and as usual I gulped most of the wine and champagne. After that it was the most exciting part of course and that is the opening of the presents. Hehe my dad was so shocked when we bought him that GPS. Sigh, I love that GPS too cause it's one the latest ones. However, while i was playing with it i found out that it has a dead pixel. Not a big deal but i hate it when u see this white dot over there, it pisses me off!
For a while now my family is procastinating upon planning a road trip. We might not go to Arizona after all but instead going along California coast. I wanna go to The OC though. Maybe I would just hang around the driveway and then see some hot blonde chick and then fall in love and get married happily ever after, solving my PR and love problems. Hahaha talking about killing two birds with one stone.
Nothing much to talk about for now. I think we're done visiting around San Diego already. Now I'm just more of chilling out and stuff. Till then....

Happenings in a day in California

2007-12-18T22:04:00.001-08:00

Oh, life in California is nice. It's even better when my whole family is around. Anywayz, I went around to La Jolla cove and had some fun. Here are some picturesThis is the cove area. Behind me are hotels and private residentials. Imagine waking up every morning to this view. It's a sight to behold!

Guess what are all these longish thing on the beach? It's actually the seals. Since it is winter in the northern area, many migrate over to San Diego for holidays. Haha even the seals have holidays ya know! All of them are so adorable, fat and cute. Most of them are resting and look dead. I was tempted to throw a pebble to wake them up.Meet Bubbley, my little pet seal. Hehe, among all the other seals, this one is so cute and it's fur is whitish grey. I had a video with the seals all bouncing up and down but i dunno how to put it on my blog.

A candid shot of my dad taking a picture of the sunset. Surprisingly in San Diego the sun sets at around 5 something. Sigh, I wish the sun could hang around longer. After that we headed to an Italian restaurant to have dinner. Over there we were served by this waitress named Laura. The table is covered with papers so she used a crayon and wrote her name there. She looks pretty hot and I was being cheeky at that time so this was what I did....
Unfortunately, she still hasn't call. To be fair I didn't dare to leave it there as it is so I took this picture and then covered the 'call me' part with the bill folder. So there is a chance that she might not see this at all. Or maybe she has a boyfriend so she ignored it. Oh well, I didn't expect much anywayz. I was doing it more for the cheekiness of it hahahaha!

In California

2007-12-16T21:10:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone. It's been a hectic week for me with all the finals and stuff going on. Well, after my finals I then shift into my new place for good. Well, let me show you some pictures of my new room.

This is the pictures of my room. I know it's nothing extravagant or elaborate but at least now I can finally rest in peace in my little own room. I have been sleeping like a pig for the last few days. Oh well, the set up is not perfect as i would like to put the screen next to my bed so I could watch tv shows whenever I want to.
After packing up on Friday, in the afternoon i drove to Chicago to mee up with my mom's friend to stay there overnight. Her house is located on North Chicago and her house is really unique. It's a townhouse with 9 rooms although they rented out the top floor while they kept the other two floors for their own use. They then have a little garden and a two-car garage. It's rather cosy and nice as well plus with the snow falling it is a nice sight to behold.
I then flew to California, where I met up with my whole family. I also finally met my niece Zoey whom is really smart. I mean kids nowadays are damn smart man. I bet when I was two years old I was busy banging my head against the wall thus not surprisingly my brain has went hay-wired. Then this afternoon we went to the winery to do experience wine-tasting. I was the designated driver for the day, but ended up being the designated alcohol dumping ground as I was drinking like mad. I didn't know certain wines could be so sweet tasting so I gulped most of the sweet wines and ended up being a bit tipsy hahahahaha!
Oh well, that's it for this whole week. Finally I could see my niece and also it has been a while since the whole family has been together. Haha till then seeya guys!

In Pieces

2007-12-09T20:12:00.000-08:00

Telling me to go

But hands beg me to stay

Your lips say that you love

Your eyes say that you hate

Theres truth in your lies

Doubt in your faith

What you build you lay to waste

Theres truth in your lies

Doubt in your faith

All I've gots what you didn't take

So I, I wont be the one

Be the one to leave this in pieces

And you, you will be alone

Alone with all your secrets and regrets

Dont lie

You promise me the sky

Then toss me like a stone

You wrap me in your arms

And chill me to the bone

Theres truth in your lies

Doubt in your faith

All I've gots what you didn't take

So I, I wont be the one

Be the one to leave this in pieces

And you, you will be alone

Alone with all your secrets and regrets

Dont lie

So I, I wont be the one

Be the one to leave this in pieces

And you, you will be alone

Alone with all your secrets and regrets

Dont lie

For the whole semester, this song has been ringing in my head many times. It comes to a point where i can even sing it at the back of my head. Well, this song is a reflection of how I feel for the whole semester. People here who are reading my blog would know what I'm whining about.

At the end of a semester, I'm always reflective of what I have done, how I wish I could do things differently, bla bla bla. And it's always the same cycle over and over again. At the end of the semester, I would bargain with god telling the divine that I would study harder, more consistent and would read through every chapter before going to class and listen to the lecturer properly. This always happen at the eve of exams, which is exactly now. At time god would answer my prayers like my spring semester, where i got results that are much better than I've expected. Somehow rather, my fall results are left much to be desired. But when exams is over, I would forget about god and start celebrating like there's no tomorrow. I'm still contemplating whether I should head over to my friend's place to drink like mad. I am worried that I might say crazy things like the last time where I dissing about Elsie's current boyfriend. Haha my friend was telling me how I was saying his Mazda RX7 is only 400hp bla bla bla and that Elsie is only after his money. I was like what the fuck??!!! I can't even remember saying much of the stuff except about the 400hp. Since then it the '400hp only-mah' has become an inside joke to my very selected few friends.

Speaking about that, I was planning to end this semester in a good note with Elsie as well. Not to say I'm so desperate to be in her good side, it's just that I don't like to leave things hanging, and I still have this feeling that we're still kinda in bad terms and stuff like that. I was planning to send a christmas card saying merry christmas bla bla bla, hope you have a good time and that hope things between us wouldn't be awkward and that she made an impact in my life bla bla bla bla bla. However, while I was talking to my mom she asked me how is Elsie and I. We then continued talking until somehow rather I start recalling the sequence of events that has happened till today. While reminiscing the past, I started getting more pissed off till the point i thought to myself "Fuck this shit, I wonder why I should be the one trying to make amends". Yes call it my childish and immature thoughts, but somehow I just couldn't be bothered at the moment.

Sigh, I think I should start studying again. I can't wait for this exams to be over though. Then I can move out of my old place and officially move into my new place, fix my beloved car and fly off to sunny San Diego, California. I shall elaborate more about my new place in my next post, complete with pictures and stuff. Till then...........

Lazy bum

2007-12-02T17:16:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the long absense of my blog. After thanksgiving, i've been really really lazy. Knowing that my parents are now in California having holidays making me even lazier. Not to mention the snow that is falling is making it worse. Not to mention that going to California in 1 week 6 days is making it worse. Haih, so lazy to study-la.
Anywayz, thanksgiving with my sister was great, although it could be better. Stupid car decided to freaking break down on thanksgiving itself. I was like hello???!!!!! not now! In the end we had to rent a car to go down to Chicago.
Being in Chicago brings me back to my senses. Living in the kampung with kampung people makes me insane. They're too friendly, their driving manners is too good that i have trouble trying to drive around and their air is too clean that my lungs are getting lazy cause they don't need to work so much to filter out the air. Oh and there is not big shopping centers where i could shop for the latest Nike shoes or something.
OOooooo i forgot to mention that while i was in chicago, my sister dropped by in this bigelow shop that got me interested in skin care products. Well, I'm already 22 and it's not too young to take care of my skin. As a result, my sister bought me this face wash while i bought a vitamin serum and face moisturizer. All of this are from Zirh (rhymes with sir). Oh well, call me a vain pot for all i care, i read some rave reviews as this product is one of the pioneer men skin care products. But then it's not to say that they're cheap as well. My face wash cost 17bucks for 250ml while my vitamin serum cost around 30bucks for 50ml while my moisturizer costs 28bucks for 100ml. Oh well, beauty doesn't come cheap i guess. Hahahaha!

Christmas Wish List

2007-11-20T18:46:00.001-08:00

Ahem, attention to everyone out there, christmas is coming *hint*hint* Anyone feel like being the Santa Claus? Hehe, anywayz, i shall post my top 5 favorite list just in case you all are being generous.

5. Lamborghini Reventon

Lamborghini Reventon is basically a reworked Lamborghini LP640. What makes this car so special is that the design is inspire from the F-22 Raptor Fighter Jet and the results are breathtaking. Only 20 of this are made and it costs around 1.4 million dollars each. Upon first impression, I find the car hideous. Looking at the car from the front reminds me of a duck.

quack quack?

However, the rest of the design is awe inspiring and inside the interior the fighter jet theme continues. The speedometer of the Reventon looks as though it's straight of the Raptor's HUD display. I am very sure that all 20 of those cars has been snapped up by all the rich billionaires. So maybe a Bugatti Veyron would be a nice alternative. Hehe 4. Wallypower 118 Superyatcht.
I have never been interested in a yatcht or boats before until I saw this boat. It was when i watched The Island that i first saw this yatcht and i feel in love with it. This boat has managed to look exclusive, commanding, extravagant and imposing with a minimalistic lines and design. The sleek minimalist lines of the 118 WallyPower are the result of an extensive research and development program that included water tank testing at the SSPA facility in Goteborg, Sweden, and wind tunnel testing at the Ferrarifacility in Maranello, Italy. Furthermore, this superyatcht is in jet black color and is built from carbon fiber. Even the toilet seat cover is made from carbon fiber. If you want this boat, it would be available to you for 20 million dollars.

3. Piaggo P180 Avanti II
In Formula One, Ferrari uses their aerodynamic gizmos to keep their multi million dollar cars on the ground. Flip those aerodynamics around and you'll get Piaggo P180 Avanti II. Piaggo are sponsors of the Scuderia Ferrari team and all the formula one drivers, CEOs and executives of Ferrari are shuffled all over the world with this jet. Interestingly, instead of jet propulsion, the Avanti II uses backwards-mounted turboprops. With a 450 mph top speed, it's the fastest turboprop in the world. It has a 1,800-mile range and 41,000-ft maximum cruising altitude but uses 30% less fuel than a comparable jet. If i have one of this, i would really love to have this in Ferrari Red.

2. Orange County Mansion
The sprawling mansion in Orange County California is one of the three most expensive homes for sale in America. The price? A whopping 75 million dollars!
The mansion, known as Portabello by the Sea, is 22,000 square feet, has 8 bedrooms, 10 bathrooms, incredible ocean views and is entirely state of the art.
The spectacular abode also has a beautiful kitchen with wrap-around granite counter tops.
It even has its own old-fashioned movie theater complete with a lobby and a bowling alley.
Talk about home sweet home!

1. My own family
Bet you guys didn't expect this one coming. Among the multi-million dollar mansions, cars, jets and superyatchts, nothing beat the love of your own family and to be with them. Having been through all the ups and downs in my life, my family has always been there for me. I admit that I used to take my family love for granted, and being such a bitch by rebelling against them. Since coming to US, especially the past few months of my life really made me appreciate my family more than ever, and that they would always be the person that i am able to count on. Although there are times that we have conflicts and arguements, but I know that they are doing it out of love and for my best interest. So, albeit I never get to say this often to my family, I really love you guys and appreciate everything you have done for me. Without them, I would not be where am I today, I would not be the person that I am today. Once again, I love you all very much.

Rants and a severance of a 'friendship'

2007-11-12T21:32:00.000-08:00

Let me start this by warning you first, this post is gonna be damn fucking depressing. Why one might ask? Cause i have this 7 page paper that is due in 10 hours time and i really dunno what to write. Guess what subject i'm taking? Medievial studies! Now only i realize that in the middle of medievial studies, there is a DIE word there that is staring right back at me. DIE-LOR! I didn't know that freaking Medievial studies is so darn difficult. I thought it's gonna be easy cause it is a 1000 level class. Didn't know that it's gonna be so darn difficult with all the sohai king fighting left, right, up and down. At this moment i feel like shit now, and then i start wondering why is god punishing me for all this bullshit. And then i start thinking of my life as a whole, why my life is not being as smooth as i thought. I know this is just the down point of my life, but i can't help but feeling sorry for myself for being in this situation. And then i feel that everything is against me bla bla bla and so on.
It's not like my life is that bad, just that i love to rant a lot. To be honest, my life is too good that it's getting boring. While i'm ranting over assignments, I forgot that at least a billion people are starving to death. While i'm feeling sorry of being bored and lonely, i forgot that there are people who are dealing with other worse things like the death of their close family. To be honest, my life is too perfect in a way that it comes to a point that it's boring and meaningless. At this point of my life, i'm feeling lost, i have felt that my sense of direction in life is just in circles. I'm always hoping for an external factor to inspire me or to wake up, knowing very well that the inspiration should come from myself. I'm always hoping for some guardian angel to come down and hand me the things i want in a silver platter. The problem is that even if there is a silver platter handed down to me, i'm not even reaching to take it.
So why am i ranting? I sometimes wonder if i'd given up on life. I find even my parents are more occupied in their life, especially when at their age they should be settling down and relax. Don't get me wrong, i'm not suicidal it's just that i'm drifitng along in life. Metaphorically speaking, i'm just drifting along in the river, waiting for someone to pick me up from the river and shake me up.
Besides this, i'd something that has been keeping inside me for quite sometime. One of my friends JJ messaged me on MSN after missing in action for a million years. JJ is my ex-gf's(LL) best friend and also one of my close friends. JJ said hi and i said hi how are you and all those bullshit. One thing that ticked me off was that she said she is very free now for the whole of november. In my mind i was thinking "WTF??!! so when you're free and not hanging out with your oh-so-happening friends then only you come and look for me-la" To be honest i felt very dissappointed over the whole debacle i had with LL also. I felt JJ wasn't there supporting me enough and that she wasn't there for me when i needed her the most. Yes i know you're busy with all your theatre stuff but just to spend a few minutes to talk to me wouldn't hurt ain't it? You've been hanging out for quite alot of times with LL when she was back in Malaysia and you can't even bother to back me up even a single bit? Who was the one who had your back before you were all famous and stuff in the theatre industry? Let me tell you a story. There was this time when JJ's laptop got stolen from her car. To complicate matters JJ always bring her laptop to college because of II, one of their supposedly good friends whom now JJ and LL had severed ties with. Anywayz, JJ is putting the blame on II because II always ask JJ to bring the laptop to college for II to use, cause II doesn't have a laptop and that the college computers suck. JJ was quite reluctant to bring it to college but chooses to bring it anywayz. Then on one fine day, after college JJ went out to have dinner and then later yam cha. At that time it was night time and since JJ came straight from college the laptop was left in the car. Soon after that the laptop's stolen and that there wasn't any sign of break-in. JJ didn't want her mom to know so she has to come up with the money. At that time she was on a verge of breakdown, she looked so lost and she was so scared of what would her mom's reaction would be shall JJ tell her mom that the laptop was stolen. At that moment, i told her straight away that i would settle the thing no questions ask. Forget the fact that i only know her well only for the past couples of months, forget the fact that i felt it was her fault cause i believe she didn't lock her car, forget the fact i feel it was wrong on blaming II for JJ's own carelessness, I told her straight away that no matter what, i would settle it for you, the money i can loan to you. Honestly speaking at that time, i was willing to forgo the money cause at that time she wasn't working and very much occupied with her studies.
This is how much i had JJ's back. To me loyalty comes first. This is how i treat my close friends, family and my loved ones. I don't fucking care whether or not i feel that you are wrong or what, i'll fucking back you up, and that is exactly what i did when she needed help the most. But when it was her turn to back me up, I feel that she was on LL's side. I guess it's understandable since LL and JJ are closer compare to me. It was my foolish and naive thought that JJ would back me up shall i need her help. Maybe i expect too much from a friendship. Maybe i'm the only stupid one that would help my 'friends'. Maybe i'm just too fucking stupid to see who are the ones that really care for me and those who are just fucking pretend to be friends. Now i see the cold reality of people. I'd always thought that human beings naturally would help a person in need of help, but now i think otherwise. I thought it is instinctual that we would help someone in need, but that's just not always the case.
So when she finally message me on MSN a few days ago, I look at her just as an acquaintance. I guess sometimes it's better to be alone, where i know that i wouldn't be backstabbed, ridiculed, betrayed and worse be dissappointed.

Snow, snow, go away

2007-11-08T07:45:00.001-08:00

Sigh, living in Michigan during the end of the year poses great challenge for me. For one, it's getting colder and colder until it's so difficult to wake up for my 9.30am class. Come to think of it, this is so later compared to during our good 'ol high school days where we had to be at school by 7.30am.

Now with snow coming, it's gonna be worse. For starters, if i need to drive, i'll have to spend at least 10 minutes trying to scrape and brush off the snow off my windscreen. You think it's easy to brush it off but let me show you how thick the snow can be.

my car during fall

my car during winter

see how freaking thick the snow is?

In addition to that, driving in the snow is so freaking dangerous. There was this time i was tackling a corner at 25mph when i suddenly spun out and hit the curb. As a result, i have to change one of my rims. And then there was one time when i was coming back from Chicago and there was a freaking snowstorm. Instead of driving at 80mph on the freeway, i was doing 25mph together with all the other cars. I can't even see the lines on the freeway and all of us were in one line. I was freaking out as the car was literally a sled, sliding around and stuff like that. It was like the movie The Day After Tomorrow, where it snow until like there's no tomorrow.

On the fun side, driving during winter bring out the Initial D in you. I love to occasionally nudge the handbrake on slight corners where you feel the backside of the car sliding out and then you tap on the brake to slide all four tires before trying to accelerate out of the bend. Wahaha, i kinda miss doing that though.

Overall, this winter is gonna be so different compared to last year. I was quite excited about the snow but this time i loathe the snow. Oh well, at least i could run away to California during the winter. Hehe, a few more weeks to go!

Death

2007-11-03T12:38:00.000-07:00

Ok I should seriously stop this kind of emo shit to dominate my blog but then I was chatting with one of my friends and then she told me she has a blog. I then pestered her to let me see her blog and so there it was, and I being such a busybody go rummage through the blog like a small kid who just got a candy.
As I read further through the blog, I realized that her brother passed away on Dec last year. I didn’t ask her anything about it though as I’m not good at approaching people as I would say something stupid that might offend them. Anywayz, I was quite shocked also as I asked the other day how many siblings she had. She said she got a brother and then I keep blabbing on that the only son very stressful cause we have to carry on the family name and so on. As usual, I’m quite callous of people’s feelings cause when I was talking to her I never look at her face to face, more like side by side while walking.
That made me think what would happen someone significant in my life just pass away?? Words even can’t describe how I am going to get through it. It kinda made me damn emo some more. Sigh, stupid thing-la, nowadays everything also emo emo to the max. I feel I’m becoming more like a whiny bitch only.
Anywayz, I’ve already opened up the comments to anyone instead of just registered users. Thanks Natalie for pointing it out to me. You are my sweet darling. Ekekeke

To blog or not to blog? (random thoughts)

2007-11-02T00:11:00.001-07:00

I am seriously contemplating whether or not I should close this blog. Firstly, very few people know about this blog and from the impression I get they either forgot the address or don’t even bother reading at all. I guess this blog should be more for me. However, the lack of events that is happening upon me resulted in me not being able to say much about myself. Oh I just came back from casino, more or less break even as I only won 3 bucks. Ok random thought popping out of my head.
Another thing is that I’m wondering whether or not to put my blog address on my MSN nick. I can’t really remember what I wrote inside and I’m just worried that I might offend somebody in WMU. Everyone here is so damn freaking sensitive that it’s unbelievable. Just because I prefer to keep to myself and don’t really talk to people, they think I’m lansi. Another thing is that among WMU Malaysian people they love to shake hands and stuff. Although I had gotten into the habit of shaking hands with them for the sake of socializing, it’s just not my style shaking hands with guys. I feel very uncomfortable holding hands with guys even though it’s just a handshake. I prefer to do the pat on the shoulder thing but I don’t know whether these sensitive guys think that I’m making a pass on them or something. Furthermore, my friends back in Malaysia are girls and I prefer to embrace them with a hug rather than a handshake.
Enough of negative thoughts that are clouding my head, I rather talk about the positive stuff. It’s already November and temperatures are reaching to the zeros. But then I can’t wait for the 15th to come as I would be picking up my sister from Chicago. Woot, actually I find it quite stressful as well because I’m not very familiar with Chicago. Hopefully my GPS won’t die out on me because I don’t have Elsie to guide me around. Seriously I wonder how could she remember all the roads at the back of her hand?
Oh and you people should watch Pushing Daisies. It’s a romantic tramedy, which is a mixture of tragedy and comedy. I guess it’s an oxymoron as to how a tragic incident be turned into comedy. Well, you guys have to watch it to understand it. I find it really nice cause it has a fairytale setting and also their romance is shown in a rather unique way. Don’t wanna reveal so much, go watch it youself, I think I got a crush on the main actress as well. HAHA!

Hyperconsumerism

2007-10-27T21:25:00.000-07:00

For the past 2 days I’ve been studying for my women’s studies. Well, it may say women’s studies but it is not limited to just upon women and their feminists’ perspective but also upon the media. By studying, I have to read two books and the first one is media jamming.
Media Jamming focuses upon how Americans are being controlled and to be put in a so called media trance. Surprisingly, most of the media, communications and advertisement contents are controlled by a handful of people in the US. It talks about how we are being brainwashed to consume more and more and more and more. I’m not exaggerating as I’ve witnessed myself of Americans being addicted to just spending. If you actually see electronic appliances that are left on the roadside the chances are they’re still working, only just that they’re old. We are brainwashed to believe that by buying or consuming products we will be blissful until the next model comes out.
Not only has it affected the way US (actually it’s a global epidemic) consumes stuff, but also the media has been sublimely shaping our thoughts and perspectives socially. A startling fact is that it is impossible for Americans to have a true relationship. What I meant by true relationship would be one that is not influenced by the media’s norms. Not the fairy tale relationship where the guy sweeps you off the feet and then he’s the most understanding and loving guy in the world where he can read your mind at the right place at the right time. You know those idealistic relationships is embedded into our mind so much that when our faces are slapped by reality, you realize it doesn’t work out that way. I had my fair share of fairytale experience at the beginning, but the outcome in real life is something that is left to be desired. We are brainwashed by the media of the expectations which isn’t always in sync with certain people. In other words, what we see in televisions shouldn’t be what one should expect, specifically in a relationship.
It is no wonder US it’s kinda screwed up. In a way, it opened my eyes to how I think in general, including the way I act, what I wear etc. In fact there is never a day in your life that you’re not exposed to advertisements from billboards right up to the urinals. In a way I wish I was never aware of all this things, cause now I always wonder that if my actions and consumer spending is a result of exposure to advertising or my own. How ironic it is also that I’m a marketing major endorsing globalizations and mass consumerism. Damn, this is screwed up!

Don’t Think It’ll Never Happen To You

2007-10-24T01:42:00.000-07:00

Not too long ago, I was talking to my sister who actually called me. She was telling me that these past few days there had been this bush fires raging across San Diego. It went through San Bernado and also Scripts Ranch area, where my eldest sister and my second sister are living respectively.
A few hours before talking to my sister, my friends was telling me that in San Diego got fires and stuff. They seemed to be more concern for my sisters than myself. My assumption was that it’ll never reach them and continue on minding my own business.
There I go again, my sheer ignorance has taken over me again. I have to admit that sometimes I can be just plain blur and ignorant, just like this case with my sisters. This is one of the reasons why I have failed in my relationship, not being able to be sensitive enough to know about my partner’s feelings, emotions etc. without her telling me.
Another thing is that I also have this mentality that it’ll never happen to me. It’s quite an arrogant way of thinking and also ignorant at the same time, if you get what I mean. For this case, the bush fires actually did affect both of my sisters. They had to evacuate to their friends place which coincidentally was in the same apartment complex. This give both my sisters time to catch up with things as they live about 15 minutes apart and that my second sister has no time as she has to tend to her family.
Ok I’m getting sidetracked. Basically, this blog has been created to tell you and myself that we should never take things for granted. Yes nothing serious happened to my sisters but imagine the worst happened, I would seriously regret it for the rest of my life since even my friends warn me about it. Oh well, I guess I would call my second sister tomorrow to find out how she is. I heard she hasn’t move back to her place since her area has a lot of ashes floating in the air. Sigh, sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever learn to be more aware of things……..

To My Lovely Darling Natalie Kan

2007-10-19T14:14:00.000-07:00

Since Natalie was complaining that I never write up something about her, I decided to write one about it out of true love for her (bluek). So here I am typing away.
I think I noticed her back in form 2, when I was a stupid geek while I labeled her as one of the smart ass group classes. Back in high school I never really get to know her at all. It wasn’t until form 4 that we started getting closer. Remember all the stupid sneakouts that we did? I so remember walking to her house since we didn’t have any driving license. I remember her climbing over the fence and stuff like that and then after that we walked to Ai Ping’s place to get her. And then we would settle at Dharoos and chat and chat and bitch like there’s no tomorrow. Wahahaha
Also remember the time when we were driving along the north-south highway attempting to go 200km/h? Ai Ping and Melanie were in the car at that time as well. Then there was this car on the fast lane driving so slowly and we start flashing the shit out of the car. Little did we know that the slow Perdana was actually a police car! Hahaha later on we then faster run away from the police still driving at around 200km/h.
It was not long then that I have to leave to the US. We were dating other different people but then somehow rather, we got together. Albeit being in different parts of US, we understand the hardship and all the bullshit we have to go through while being here. Soon our friendship flourish to love, and we embark on a long-distance relationship.
Although being apart, you’re always close my heart. There is not a single moment that I stop thinking of you. Seeing you on webcam makes me wanna hug you so tight and not let you go. I’m so sorry that I would not be able to see you on your birthday. Being such an understanding person, I know you’ll be able to forgive me. It was unfortunate that our wedding was called off, I guess it was for the best for both of us. We both are still too young and stuff like that.
Ok Natalie Kan Ming Chan, are you satisfied that I wrote such a romantic and touching story for you? Honestly I don’t even write shit like this to my ex-girlfriends. Wahaha I find it so gelifying.

Runner's High

2007-10-19T12:16:00.000-07:00

Firstly, I would like to clarify that the intention of this blog is to only express myself. This is no ulterior motives upon doing up this blog. Like many other things, if you don’t like what is written here then you can just leave. Also, what is written inside here stays inside here. It’s my thoughts, respect it. Shall you want to say out your opinion about what I say, there is a comment section at the bottom right of each blog. Saying that, I don’t want situations where people come out and confront me about what I say in the blog. I have encountered situations where people actually did print out stuff and confronted my parents. I mean wtf? If you really have a problem then come to me, not my parents. Geeezzz
Upon clarifying myself, I shall continue about my interesting happenings in life (not). For those who known me for quite some time you all should remember the time when I was all fit, muscular and being a walking calorie calculator which pisses off almost all of my gal-friends and my then girlfriend (surprisingly). Upon embarking an ‘exciting’ journey to the US of A, from June 2006 till now I’ve gain about 50 pounds. Yes I know it’s freaking shocking. Now that I’m single, I’m now continuing what I was doing when I was single. You guessed it, I’m back to the all-protein-eater-and-a-calorie-counter-freak-while-working-out-for-hours-in-the-gym. Just a few days ago, I was all over that stupid elliptical machine. It’s like a machine where you use your legs to pedal and you can adjust the inclines and resistance. Somehow rather, the majority of the users are the gals, which is quite a sight indeed. Seeing them not only pleases my eyes, but it gives me motivation to slim down even more. I wish I could take pictures, but then they would think that I’m some perverted asian freak who is stalking them. Oh well, I intend to only exercise for half an hour on that particular machine. However, my trusty old ipod suddenly played my all time favorite Progressive Trance thus putting me in a state of trance. In the end I spent an hour on that damn machine before running in the indoor track for an uncountable number of times.
It’s been a while since I’ve had that ‘high’ feeling. If you run long distance and just continue pushing yourself, at first you’ll feel like you’re going to give up. But if you continue running on, when you get past that stage then you’ll feel that numb sensation while you brain gets ‘high’. I’m serious, if you really feel like giving up, push on and then you’ll get the so called runner/jogger’s high. It’s a nice feeling that only lasts as long as a minute before you really feel like giving up. Just a warning though, if you feel a sharp pain in your heart, then you should stop immediately. Being in the US, I shall not relieve myself of any reliability shall anyone who attempts the runners high and succumb into undesirable circumstances. I will however claim responsibility if it turns out to be something good for you. Wahaha!
Ok I babble too much. I shall stop for now. Seeyaz.

To Set Things Straight

2007-10-16T22:33:00.000-07:00

Well here I am attempting to do another blog. Other blogs are still hanging around but it’s either screwed up or I’m just too lazy to update it. Anywayz, this would be my new blog and that I would try to update it as much as possible.
It’s been just a little over 3 months that I’d broken up with my then gf Elsie. What have I been doing over those 3 months? It’s like an emotional rollercoaster ride. Firstly I’ve done things that I would normally never do like playing paintball which gave me love bites haha! The thing is that when it hits my body especially on the chest area, it would swell up and leave a bruise mark that is similar to a love bite. After trying a couple of times, I flew off to California where I had a very nice trip. The California trip is a meaningful trip for me, something for me to look at my life differently.
When Elsie came back from Malaysia on 31st Aug, I thought things would be different. I would had thought we had a chance and stuff like that. However, things don’t always turn out to be what you want so in the end I realize it was so totally over. I went on a drinking binge which left me totally blanked out about 3 times. There was this time I couldn’t remember a couple of hours but then remembered my friend suddenly holding me up saying “listen to me, she’s not worth it, she’s fucking not worth it”. I remember crying like a freaking baby only. Looking back, it’s kinda hilarious and so drama to say the least.
Now, I think I’m so totally over her. To begin with, she has been dating her ex-bf ever since we broke up. But now there’s another guy that’s in the picture and so I’m also not sure about the ex-bf. Probably she’ll make some story up to make him feel guilty as an excuse to break up just like me. However, last Friday I went over to my friends place to drink again, and one of Elsie’s friends came over and then I scold them kau and then they start telling me about how Elsie’s concerned for me and stuff. He then continued talking about love bla bla bla till suddenly tears start running down my cheek. I dunno whether it’s because of Elsie or what, but somehow that confused me. Even I don’t dream about getting back together with Elsie anymore. So why did I tear up still remains a mystery for me.
Being out of the relationship allows me to bring myself back to reality. I realized there’s no such thing as true love. Sometimes material possession rule over love, sometimes emotions and immatureness rule over. To be honest, I have serious difficulties putting my trust emotionally towards women. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate women and not gonna turn gay, it’s just that women especially at ages 18-25 still are no mature, no matter how much they think they are more mature than men bla bla bla. In this relationship, I feel so betrayed sometimes because whatever honest feelings, thoughts and thinking I have towards her is being reciprocated in the wrong way. The worst thing ever that I’m really pissed off now is that the way she’s acting now. So much for thinking of herself as being mature, she’s overblowing the story of what happened between us. Furthermore, she’s taking advantage of the fact that I’m not being favorable among the Malaysians in this WMU and trying to bring me down. To tell you honestly, not only I’m being heartbroken, I feel so fucking betrayed and depressed at the same time. Thoughts of suicide lingered around my mind for a short period. Imagine everywhere you walked you felt as though there is an invisible spear come jabbing at your body from everyones’ eyes. What’s even more fucked up is that the source of this bullshit is coming from someone that I truly love, that I’m willing to sacrifice anything, including my own fucking life.
I have no choice. I believe when a relationship breaks up, both sides should be mature enough to call it truce and to move on and cherish the happy times we had together. But what’s happening now is countless backstabbings and bitchings about me and then when I confront you about it, you pretend you said nothing. Fine, shall you want to pretend then go ahead while I choose to stay quiet, hopefully that the truth will be told eventually. However till now, people still thinks I’m the ‘devil’ in the relationship so to speak while she continues talking about how she was a victim of sexual harassment etc etc. At one point I believed what she says too, but upon thinking over and over again, you actually did consent to it and that the feelings were mutual. I am at loss at those sharp accusations that is being thrown about to everyone. I feel so frustrated that no one ever bothers to think of my side of the story, for the ‘devil’ has feelings to. This is why I can’t take it anymore and decided to vomit out everything that I have to say.
Go ahead, tell to your new bf that you’re being victimized. Tell him how bad you were being treated when actually it was your demanding expectations that pull them away. It was your unrealistic expectations of your partner being like your father. I understand your loss of your father, but that doesn’t mean that you need a bf to substitute your loss of your father. And I feel you think that a father-daughter relationship is the same as a men-women relationship. Well let me set this straight, you don’t treat your boyfriend as your dad ok. Firstly it’s like having incest. Secondly you expect your dad to do everything for you, don’t expect your boyfriend to do the same. A relationship is mutual, and in this modern era there’s no such thing as the women being the weaker sex. Don’t give me this bullshit that you want to have a career and at the same time wants to get married and have kids but does not want to take care of the kids because of your career. Fine, I’ve said before that maybe I can take care of the kids as I believe that there should be someone taking care of the kids fulltime at least until they reach elementary school. Then you come and give me this bullshit that men should be the one earning the money and that she as women would contribute maximum half to the family. To make things more unreasonable, you have that what is yours is mine, what is mine is mine mentality. My dear, you can have everything ok? I thought the death of your father would make you open your eyes. However, it seems as though it hasn’t open wide enough for you to realize it.